Chp1 - Rich Dad, Poor Dad
-When we dont have plan, we will always fall into someone else plan
-Rich ppl dun get rich just becos of their educations
-old thinking of "getting gd grades, go to gd college, to secure a gd job" have been pass down for many generations. 95% are "programmed" this way, the safe way.
-children lose interest/sight, cant see e reasons why e importance of getting gd grade/gd job. Generally they are force to follow what e rest is doing, w/o any real focus in life but just short-term goal of getting results for exam becos they are not born self-motivated, only few would want to do so to gain attention/recognition from ppl around them.
-who you choose to follow/learn will lead to a diff destiny
-money is power where e rich "control" e poor
Chp2 - The rich dont work for money
- find ways on how to make money/ make $ work for us.
-haste make worse, grow your "roots" deep enough 1st.
-learn life's lessons, if not life will just push you around, some get angry & push back instead
- " the poor & middle class work for money" " the rich have $ work for them"
-biggest trap -> rat race.
-let no amount of $ tempt u. becos tt should never be ur focus or maybe last.
-fear, greed/desire
-master e power of $
-handling of fear & ignorance -> main cause of poverty/ financial struggle
-learn to use ur emotions to think, not think with ur emotions.
Chp3 - why teach financial literacy?
- intelligence solves problems & produces money. money w/o financial intelligence is $ soon gone.
-asset's cash flow pattern diff among poor/young vs middle class vs wealthy
-1st buy assets tt will generate e cash flow to pay for e house.
-rich get richer, why mid class struggle, doing what masses do; work for owner/govt/bank
-increase cash flow, b4 increase expenses to maintain wealth.
-increase income generated from assets each mth tt fully cover monthly expenses.
Chp4 - mind ur own business
-macdonald-> ray kroc's advice: his real profession-real estate investment
-assets- 1. business tt do not require ur presence
2.stocks
3.bonds
4.mutual funds
5. income-generating real estate
6. notes (IOUs)
7. royalties from intellectual property such as music, scripts, patents
8. and anything else tt has value, produces income or appreciates and has a ready market.
Chp5 - History of taxes & e power of corporations
-robin hood ideal: taking from rich to give to e poor
- rich are not taxed, upper-income middle class pays for poor
-how e rich play the game; invest commissions in assets-> assets pay for luxuries
-rich always found a way to outsmart them, they understood e power of money
-rich dont simply comply, they react ( search for ways to min their tax burden)
(hire smart attorneys & accountants, persuade politicians to change laws or create legal loopholes)
-The rich with corporations - earn>spend>pay taxes
- people who work for corporations -earn>pay taxes>spend
-Financial IQ;
1. accounting - financial literacy - identify e str & weaknesses of any business
2. investing - science of money making money - strategies & formulas
3. understanding markets - science of supply & demand - technical, fundamental/economic sense
4. law - protection provided by corporation , wrapped around e technical skills of accounting,
investing & markets aid explosive growth for long-term wealth.
1. Tax advantages - pay for expenses b4 it pays taxes ( corporation )
2. protection from lawsuits - rich control everything, but own nothing - corporations & trusts to protect their assets from creditors.
Chp6 - the rich invent money
- financial genius = techinical knowledge + courage
- seizing opportunities created by e market, somebody was buying, and someone was selling
- plant seeds inside asset column, start small...
- great opportunities are not seen with ur eyes, they are seen with ur mind.
- investing is not buying, its more a case of knowing
- learn to mange risk instead of avoid it, becos there is always risk
Chp7 - work to learn - dont work for money
-make more money/ get promoted, u need to "specialize"
-learning > job security
- leadership is managing people. " if you're not a good leader, you'll get shot in the back"
-" job is an acronym for "just over broke", most workers " live within their means" they work and they pay e bills.
- "workers work hard enough to not be fired, and owners pay just enough so that workers wont quit"
- people used to keep themselves busy working away to pay bills
-importance of business systems
- " give and u shall receive"
-main management skills needed;
1. e management of cash flow
2. e management of systems ( including self & time with family)
3. e management of people
Chp 8 - overcoming obstacles
1.fear :" winning means being unafraid to lose" - " failure inspires winning"
2. overcoming cynicism : (think too much aka "what if" - selfishness)
-"doubts often get so loud tt we fail to act"
-cynics criticize and blind, winners analyze and opened eyes
-finding what people miss is key to any success
-choose not to lose, the mind is closed
-dun let small things/obstacles stop you from achieving big things
3. laziness : - avoiding something important by staying busy
-cure for laziness = a little greed
- use "how" not "cant"
4. habits : -controlling behaviour
- most ppl give into these bullies/pressure, they pay them and never pay themselves, they get weaker.
5. arrogance - when im arrogant, what i dont know is not important
- what i dont know loses me money
- many ppl use arrogance to hide their own ignorance
Chp 9 - getting started
1. i need a reason greater than reality
- " dont wants" creates/drive "wants"
-e power of spirit. if u ask most ppl if they like to be rich/ financially free, they would say "yes". but then reality sets in. the road seems too long with too many hills to climb. its easier to just work for money & hand e excess over to your broker.
2. i choose daily: the power of choice. tt is the main reason ppl want to live in a free country. we want e power to choose. " time+learn->asset" where excuses rob away "learn"
-invest 1st in education
3. choose friends carefully: e power of association. 1st of all, i do not choose my friends by their financial statements. i have friends who have actually taken e vow of poverty as well as friends who earn millions every year. e point is i learn from all of them, and i consciously make e effort to learn from them.
-"dont listen to poor/frightened people","the sky is always falling"
-"keep ur mind open to both sides of ideas" eg. of experts advice on economic crisis
-" ppl who hurry & catch a wave late usually are e ones who wipe out" eg. bubble tea business
4. master a formula & then learn a new one; power of learning quickly
-" you become what you study"
-" often what you know is old. it is how fast you learn"
5. pay urself 1st: power of self-discipline. lack of it causes most lottery winners to go broke soon.
-skills: manangement of cash flow, ppl, personal time.
- " those who pays everyone else 1st-often have nothing left.
6. pay ur brokers well : power of good advice.
7. be an " indian giver" : power of getting something for nothing.
8: assets buy luxuries: power of focus
9. the need for heroes: power of myth
-" modelling successful ppl/ experts in tt area"
-" if they can do it , so can i "
10. teach & you shall receive : the power of giving
Chp 10 - take action! mind+time= power to determine ur destiny
- here are some to Do's;
- take a break & assess what is working and what is not.
-look for new ideas.
-take action -> find someone who has done what you want to do
-> take classes
-> make lots of offers/ finding a gd deal, right business, right ppl , right investors
-> look in the right places/ targeting right client
-> look for ppl who want to buy 1st, then look for someone who wants to sell.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Men are from mars, Women are from Venus-By John Gray; Summarized
Chp1 - Men are from mars, Women are from Venus
-We mistakenly assume tt if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways - the ways we react and behave when we love someone.
-When men and women are able to respect & accept their diff, then love has a chance to blossom.
Notes: - taking additional effort for granted, thus lack of appreciation on both sides.
-for inexperience couples, they are unaware of their diff, thus fail to respect each others diff, eventually leading to fights/argument
Chp2 - Mr. Fix-It & the Home-Improvement Committee
- A man's sense of self is defined thru his ability to achieve results.
-To offer man unsolicited advice is to presume tt he doesnt know what to do or tt he cant do it on his own.
-A woman's sense of self is defined thru her feelings & e quality of her relationships.
-Generally speaking, when a woman offers unsolicited advice or tries to "help" a man, she has no idea of how critical & unloving she may sound to him.
-Many times a woman just wants to share her feelings abt her day, and her husband, thinking he is helping, interrupts her by offering a steady flow of solutions to her problems.
2 common mistakes;
1. A man tries to change a woman's feelings when she is upset by becoming Mr.Fix-It & offering solutions to her problems tt invalidate her feelings.
2. A woman tries to change a man's behavior when he makes mistakes by becoming e home-improvement committee & offering unsolicited advice or criticism.
-When our partner resists us it is probably because we have made a mistake in our timing or approach.
-A man wants to make improvements when he feels he is being approached as e solution to a problem rather than as e problem itself.
Notes: - misunderstanding caused by offering uneffective solutions to each other.
-mistakes in our timing or approach
-wrong timing to offer man unsolicited advice when he want to solve e problem on his own
-wrong approach to provide solutions to a woman when she just needs a listening ear.
-problems caused by not understanding e opposite sex.
Chp3 - Men go to their caves and women talk
-To feel better Martians go to their caves to solve problems alone.
-To feel better Venusians get together and openly talk abt their problems.
-A woman under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself & being understood.
-To forget her own painful feelings a woman may become emotionally involved in e problems of others.
-Just as a man is fulfilled thru working out e intricate details of solving a problem, a woman is fulfilled thru talking about e details of her problems.
Notes: - men prefer to be alone to think/solve problems
-women prefer to share their feelings & talk about their problems to feel relief/ in order to forget about it.
Chp4 - How to Motivate e opposite Sex
-Men are motivated & empowered when they feel needed, women are motivated & empowered when they feel cherished.
-Given e opportunity to prove his potential, a man expresses his best self. Only when he feels he cannot succeed does he regress back to his old selfish ways.
-Not to be needed is a slow death for a man.
-A woman's tendency to be compulsive relaxes as she remembers tt she is worthy of love- she doesnt have to earn it; she can relax, give less, and recieve more. She deserves it.
-When she wakes up & remembers her needs, he also wakes up & wants to give her more.
-A man's deepest fear is tt he is not good enough or tt he is incompetent.
-Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving.
-It is difficult for a man to listen to a woman when she is unhappy or disappointed because he feels like a failure.
Notes: -men should cherish woman
-women should allow man e opportunity to prove himself and show they need their men.
-important to support each other when one is feeling low instead of proving/ comparing/ disagree
Chp5 - Speaking Diff Languages
-The Martian & Venusian languages had e sames words, but e way they were used gave diff meanings.
-To fully express their feelings, women assume poetic license to use various superlatives, metaphors and generalizations.
-The number one complaint women have in relationships is "I don't feel heard." Even this complaint is misunderstood by men!
-The biggest challenge for women is correctly interpret & support a man when he isnt talking.
-When a man is silent it is easy for a woman to imagine e worst.
-Never go into a man's cave or you will be burned by the dragon!
-It is very difficult for a man to differentiate between empathy and sympathy. He hates to be pitied.
-A woman should not be judged for needing this reassurance, ( 4 magic word: I will be back) just as a man should not be judged for needing to withdraw.
Notes: - same words/ diff meaning
-men: silence, hates to be pitied, need to withdraw to his cave
-women : imagine e worst, feel unheard by men, need to talk , uses various indirect phrases tt most men misinterpret. need reassurance tt should not be judged.
-men need to say e 4 magic word: i will be back.
Chp6 - Men are like Rubber Bands
-When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer.
-A man automatically alternates between needing intimacy and autonomy.
-To a certain extent a man loses himself through connecting with his partner.
-The man grows to understand his own cycles and reassures her when he pulls away tt he will be back.
Notes: -need to pull away b4 he can get closer
-else, to a certain extent, loses himself
- grows to understand his own cycles & reassures her when he pulls away tt he will be back.
-need freedom/space (cave time)
Chp7 - Women are like Waves
-A woman's self-esteem rises and falls like a wave. When she hits bottom, it is a time for emotional housecleaning
-In relationships, men pull back and then get close, while women rise and fall in their ability to love themselves and others.
-Even when a man is succeeding in supporting a woman she may become even more upset.
-When negative feelings are suppressed, positive feelings become suppressed as well, and love dies.
-Men argue for the right to be free while women argue for the right to be upset. Men want space while women want understanding.
-Warning signs for Men tt she may be going into her well or when she needs his love the most.
She feels She may say
Overwhelmed - there is so much to do
Insecure - i need more
Resentful - i do everything
Worried - but what about...
Confused - i dont understand why...
Exhausted - i cant do anything more
Hopeless - i dont know what to do
Passive - i dont care, do what you want
Demanding - you should...
Withholding - no, i dont want to...
Mistrustful - what do you mean by that?
Controlling - well, did you...?
Disapproving - how could you forget...?
-By supporting her need to be heard, she could support his need to be free.
-It puts too much pressure on a man to make him e only source of love and support.
-As a woman's financial needs are fulfilled she becomes more aware of her emotional needs.
-3 steps for supporting her when he needs to pull away.
1. accept your limitations
2. understand her pain
3. avoid arguing and give reassurance
Notes: - need to do emotional housecleaning
-fall in their ability to love themselves & others
-must not suppress negative feelings ( need to share), else positive feelings become suppressed as well, and love dies
- need e right to be upset and want understanding
-gives warning signs tt she may be going into her well or when she needs his love e most.
-as a woman's financial needs are fulfilled she becomes more aware of her emotional needs.
Chp8 - Discovering our diff Emotional Needs
The primary love needs of women & men.
Women need to receive Men need to receive
caring <----> trust
understanding <----> acceptance
respect <----> appreciation
devotion <----> admiration
validation <----> approval
reassurance <----> encouragement
-Fulfilling a primary need is required before one is able to fully receive & appreciate e other kinds of love.
-A man commonly makes e mistake of thinking tt once he has met all of a woman's primary love needs, and she feels happy and secure, tt she should know from then on tt she is loved. ( reassure her again & again)
-The secret of empowering a man is never to try to change him or improve him.
-The best way to help a man grow is to let go of trying to change him in any way.
Notes: - Man common mistake is : fail to give reassurance
- woman common mistake is : try to change/ improve a man
Chp9 - How to avoid arguments
-Just as communication is the most important element in a relationship, arguments can be e most destructive element.
-Most couples start out arguing about one thing and, within five minutes, are arguing about the way they are arguing.
4 F's for avoiding hurt ( short-term gain) ; most destructive due to failure in communication
Fight (men) - make e other looks wrong, muscle his way out ; intimidation always weakens trust in a relationship, loses intimacy too.
Flight (men) (cold war) - go to cave
Fake ( woman) - in resentment
Fold (woman) ( give in , loses self)
-Intimidation always weakens trust in a relationship.
-Men rarely say " i'm sorry" becos on mars it means you have done something wrong and you are apologizing.
-Most arguments escalate when a man begins to invalidate a woman's feelings and she responds to him disapprovingly.
-The most common way women unknowingly start arguments is by not being direct when they share their feelings.
-1 critical pair of problems frm which arguments arise:
1. The man feels tt e woman disapproves of his point of view.
2. Or e woman disapproves of e way e man is talking to her.
Men are most prone to argue when they have made a mistake or upset e woman they love.
Notes: - problems causing argument ;
-men: refuse to admit wrong or say sorry
-invalidate a women's feelings and she respond to him disapprovingly
-feels tt e woman disapprove of his point of view - thus e woman disapprove e way e man is talking to her
-most prone to argue when they have made a mistake or upset e woman they love
Chp10 - Scoring Points with the Opposite Sex
-When a woman keeps score, no matter how big or small a gift of love is, it scores one point; each gift has equal value.
-Most men strive for greater and greater success becos they believe it will make them worthy of love.
-5 major reasons a man stops giving:
1. Martians idealize fairness
-for men: remember tt for a woman, big things & little things score one point. All gifts of love are equal and equally needed-big & small. To avoid creating resentment, practice doing some of the little things tt make a big diff. Do not expect a woman to be satisfied unless she gets an abundance of little expressions of love as well as e big.
2. Venusians Idealize Unconditional love.
-for men: remember tt when a woman gives with a smile on her face, it doesnt necessarily mean e score is close to even.
3. Martians give when they are asked.
-for men: remember tt a woman instinctively does not ask for support when she wants it. Instead, she expects you to offer it if you love her. Practice offering to support her in little ways.
4. Venusians say Yes even when e score is uneven.
-for men: remember tt if she says yes to ur requests, it doesnt mean e score is even. The score may be twenty to zero in her mind & she will still happily say Yes/Ok. Agreeing to doing what you want doesnt mean tt it is what she wants. Ask her what she wants to do. Collect info abt what she likes, then offer to take her to those places.
5. Martians give Penalty Points.
-for men: remember tt penalty points are not fair & do not work. At moments when you feel unloved, offended, hurt, forgive her & remember all e good she has given rather than penalize her negating it all. Instead of punishing her, ask her for e support you want, and she will give it. Respectfully let her know she has hurt you. Let her know how she has hurt you and then give her an opportunity to apologize. Punishment does not work! You will feel much better by giving her a chance to give you what you need. Remember she is a Venusian - she doesnt know what you need or how she hurts you.
- Certainly a man also requires equal participation from a woman in doing e domestic duties of day to day life, but if he is not appreciated, then her contribution is nearly meaningless and completely unimportant to him.
-If a man has made a mistake and feels embarrassed, sorry, or ashamed, then he needs her love more...The bigger the mistake, the more points he gives.
-When a man is in a negative state, treat him like a passing tornado and lie low.
Chp11 - How to communicate difficult feelings
-Whether you share e feelings in your letter or you just write a letter to feel better, writing down your feelings is an essential tool.
Love letter technique; - a way to love urself
1. Write a love letter expressing ur feelings of anger, sadness, fear, regret, and love.
2. Write a response letter expression what you want to hear from ur partner.
3. Share your love letter and response letter with ur partner.
-Response letters are e best way to teach a man about a woman's needs.
-Ironically, e very act of avoiding our negative emotions gives them e power to control our lives.
-Books can inspire you to love urself more, but by listenly to, writing out, or verbally expressing ur feelings u r actually doing it.
-To grow in our ability to love ourselves we need to receive love as well.
-When u take e time to listen to ur feelings, u r in effect saying to e little feeling person inside "you matter. u deserve to be heard and i care enough to listen"
Chp12 - How to ask for support and get it
-On venus their motto is " love is never having to ask!"
-If a woman is not asking for support, a man assumes he is giving enough.
3steps: ask correctly & getting what you want.
1. Practice asking correctly for what you're already getting
2. Practice asking for more, even when you know he will say no, and accept his no
3. Practice assertive asking
Step1:
-When a man hears a demanding tone, no matter how nicely you phrase ur request, all he hears is tt he is not giving enough. His tendency is then to give less until you appreciate what he is already giving.
Tips for motivating a Man.
1. Appropriate Timing
2. Non-demanding attitude, be brief ( assume he doesnt have to be convinced ) , be direct, and use correct wording.
-When asking a man for support, assume tt he doesnt have to be convinced.
-"could you" sounds like a demand, not a request to man. and he dont feel appreciated. (feels like being controlled)
-"would you" sounds like a request and a chance to be e good guy. ( feels like " im being trusted to serve" )
-The "c" words sounds too untrusting, indirect, weak, and manipulative, taken for granted.
use "would you please/mind...?"
Step2: Practice asking for more
-Men are much more willing to say yes if they have e freedom to say no.
-When you ask a man for support & you do not reject him for saying no, he will remember tt, and next time he will be much more willing to give.
Step3: Practice Assertive asking. (self-assured/confident)
-When a man grumbles it is a good sign- he is trying to consider ur request versus his needs.
-One of e key elements of assertive asking is to remain silent after you have asked for support.
Chp13 - Keeping e magic of love alive
-It is a paradox: becos you feel safe with ur partner, ur deepest fears have a chance to surface.
When they surface you become afraid and are unable to share what you feel.
-Notes: learning points:
- reassurance is the most important for woman becos they are like waves
-men need to stop giving solutions & start listening
-woman should use e correct words when come to "questioning " their man, esp when they are tired/ in bad mood after a day of work, they might need space to go into their caves.
-ask for support e correct way, accept who he is & appreciate what he do & approve his decisions
-when his down at his lowest, give encouragement
- men should be more thoughtful, in doing more things for her, instead of just fulfilling her in e financial area, or become too busy with work/ over focus in work accomplishment which may cuase her to feel unlove/ neglected/
-love brings up our unresolved feelings.
-90/10 principle: 90% -> past , 10% -> present
-Seasons of love ;
1. spring time - honeymoon period
2. summer - show diff ( compromise)
3. autumn - overcome obstacle -> love grows stronger
4. winter - both need some time/ space alone
-We mistakenly assume tt if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways - the ways we react and behave when we love someone.
-When men and women are able to respect & accept their diff, then love has a chance to blossom.
Notes: - taking additional effort for granted, thus lack of appreciation on both sides.
-for inexperience couples, they are unaware of their diff, thus fail to respect each others diff, eventually leading to fights/argument
Chp2 - Mr. Fix-It & the Home-Improvement Committee
- A man's sense of self is defined thru his ability to achieve results.
-To offer man unsolicited advice is to presume tt he doesnt know what to do or tt he cant do it on his own.
-A woman's sense of self is defined thru her feelings & e quality of her relationships.
-Generally speaking, when a woman offers unsolicited advice or tries to "help" a man, she has no idea of how critical & unloving she may sound to him.
-Many times a woman just wants to share her feelings abt her day, and her husband, thinking he is helping, interrupts her by offering a steady flow of solutions to her problems.
2 common mistakes;
1. A man tries to change a woman's feelings when she is upset by becoming Mr.Fix-It & offering solutions to her problems tt invalidate her feelings.
2. A woman tries to change a man's behavior when he makes mistakes by becoming e home-improvement committee & offering unsolicited advice or criticism.
-When our partner resists us it is probably because we have made a mistake in our timing or approach.
-A man wants to make improvements when he feels he is being approached as e solution to a problem rather than as e problem itself.
Notes: - misunderstanding caused by offering uneffective solutions to each other.
-mistakes in our timing or approach
-wrong timing to offer man unsolicited advice when he want to solve e problem on his own
-wrong approach to provide solutions to a woman when she just needs a listening ear.
-problems caused by not understanding e opposite sex.
Chp3 - Men go to their caves and women talk
-To feel better Martians go to their caves to solve problems alone.
-To feel better Venusians get together and openly talk abt their problems.
-A woman under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself & being understood.
-To forget her own painful feelings a woman may become emotionally involved in e problems of others.
-Just as a man is fulfilled thru working out e intricate details of solving a problem, a woman is fulfilled thru talking about e details of her problems.
Notes: - men prefer to be alone to think/solve problems
-women prefer to share their feelings & talk about their problems to feel relief/ in order to forget about it.
Chp4 - How to Motivate e opposite Sex
-Men are motivated & empowered when they feel needed, women are motivated & empowered when they feel cherished.
-Given e opportunity to prove his potential, a man expresses his best self. Only when he feels he cannot succeed does he regress back to his old selfish ways.
-Not to be needed is a slow death for a man.
-A woman's tendency to be compulsive relaxes as she remembers tt she is worthy of love- she doesnt have to earn it; she can relax, give less, and recieve more. She deserves it.
-When she wakes up & remembers her needs, he also wakes up & wants to give her more.
-A man's deepest fear is tt he is not good enough or tt he is incompetent.
-Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving.
-It is difficult for a man to listen to a woman when she is unhappy or disappointed because he feels like a failure.
Notes: -men should cherish woman
-women should allow man e opportunity to prove himself and show they need their men.
-important to support each other when one is feeling low instead of proving/ comparing/ disagree
Chp5 - Speaking Diff Languages
-The Martian & Venusian languages had e sames words, but e way they were used gave diff meanings.
-To fully express their feelings, women assume poetic license to use various superlatives, metaphors and generalizations.
-The number one complaint women have in relationships is "I don't feel heard." Even this complaint is misunderstood by men!
-The biggest challenge for women is correctly interpret & support a man when he isnt talking.
-When a man is silent it is easy for a woman to imagine e worst.
-Never go into a man's cave or you will be burned by the dragon!
-It is very difficult for a man to differentiate between empathy and sympathy. He hates to be pitied.
-A woman should not be judged for needing this reassurance, ( 4 magic word: I will be back) just as a man should not be judged for needing to withdraw.
Notes: - same words/ diff meaning
-men: silence, hates to be pitied, need to withdraw to his cave
-women : imagine e worst, feel unheard by men, need to talk , uses various indirect phrases tt most men misinterpret. need reassurance tt should not be judged.
-men need to say e 4 magic word: i will be back.
Chp6 - Men are like Rubber Bands
-When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer.
-A man automatically alternates between needing intimacy and autonomy.
-To a certain extent a man loses himself through connecting with his partner.
-The man grows to understand his own cycles and reassures her when he pulls away tt he will be back.
Notes: -need to pull away b4 he can get closer
-else, to a certain extent, loses himself
- grows to understand his own cycles & reassures her when he pulls away tt he will be back.
-need freedom/space (cave time)
Chp7 - Women are like Waves
-A woman's self-esteem rises and falls like a wave. When she hits bottom, it is a time for emotional housecleaning
-In relationships, men pull back and then get close, while women rise and fall in their ability to love themselves and others.
-Even when a man is succeeding in supporting a woman she may become even more upset.
-When negative feelings are suppressed, positive feelings become suppressed as well, and love dies.
-Men argue for the right to be free while women argue for the right to be upset. Men want space while women want understanding.
-Warning signs for Men tt she may be going into her well or when she needs his love the most.
She feels She may say
Overwhelmed - there is so much to do
Insecure - i need more
Resentful - i do everything
Worried - but what about...
Confused - i dont understand why...
Exhausted - i cant do anything more
Hopeless - i dont know what to do
Passive - i dont care, do what you want
Demanding - you should...
Withholding - no, i dont want to...
Mistrustful - what do you mean by that?
Controlling - well, did you...?
Disapproving - how could you forget...?
-By supporting her need to be heard, she could support his need to be free.
-It puts too much pressure on a man to make him e only source of love and support.
-As a woman's financial needs are fulfilled she becomes more aware of her emotional needs.
-3 steps for supporting her when he needs to pull away.
1. accept your limitations
2. understand her pain
3. avoid arguing and give reassurance
Notes: - need to do emotional housecleaning
-fall in their ability to love themselves & others
-must not suppress negative feelings ( need to share), else positive feelings become suppressed as well, and love dies
- need e right to be upset and want understanding
-gives warning signs tt she may be going into her well or when she needs his love e most.
-as a woman's financial needs are fulfilled she becomes more aware of her emotional needs.
Chp8 - Discovering our diff Emotional Needs
The primary love needs of women & men.
Women need to receive Men need to receive
caring <----> trust
understanding <----> acceptance
respect <----> appreciation
devotion <----> admiration
validation <----> approval
reassurance <----> encouragement
-Fulfilling a primary need is required before one is able to fully receive & appreciate e other kinds of love.
-A man commonly makes e mistake of thinking tt once he has met all of a woman's primary love needs, and she feels happy and secure, tt she should know from then on tt she is loved. ( reassure her again & again)
-The secret of empowering a man is never to try to change him or improve him.
-The best way to help a man grow is to let go of trying to change him in any way.
Notes: - Man common mistake is : fail to give reassurance
- woman common mistake is : try to change/ improve a man
Chp9 - How to avoid arguments
-Just as communication is the most important element in a relationship, arguments can be e most destructive element.
-Most couples start out arguing about one thing and, within five minutes, are arguing about the way they are arguing.
4 F's for avoiding hurt ( short-term gain) ; most destructive due to failure in communication
Fight (men) - make e other looks wrong, muscle his way out ; intimidation always weakens trust in a relationship, loses intimacy too.
Flight (men) (cold war) - go to cave
Fake ( woman) - in resentment
Fold (woman) ( give in , loses self)
-Intimidation always weakens trust in a relationship.
-Men rarely say " i'm sorry" becos on mars it means you have done something wrong and you are apologizing.
-Most arguments escalate when a man begins to invalidate a woman's feelings and she responds to him disapprovingly.
-The most common way women unknowingly start arguments is by not being direct when they share their feelings.
-1 critical pair of problems frm which arguments arise:
1. The man feels tt e woman disapproves of his point of view.
2. Or e woman disapproves of e way e man is talking to her.
Men are most prone to argue when they have made a mistake or upset e woman they love.
Notes: - problems causing argument ;
-men: refuse to admit wrong or say sorry
-invalidate a women's feelings and she respond to him disapprovingly
-feels tt e woman disapprove of his point of view - thus e woman disapprove e way e man is talking to her
-most prone to argue when they have made a mistake or upset e woman they love
Chp10 - Scoring Points with the Opposite Sex
-When a woman keeps score, no matter how big or small a gift of love is, it scores one point; each gift has equal value.
-Most men strive for greater and greater success becos they believe it will make them worthy of love.
-5 major reasons a man stops giving:
1. Martians idealize fairness
-for men: remember tt for a woman, big things & little things score one point. All gifts of love are equal and equally needed-big & small. To avoid creating resentment, practice doing some of the little things tt make a big diff. Do not expect a woman to be satisfied unless she gets an abundance of little expressions of love as well as e big.
2. Venusians Idealize Unconditional love.
-for men: remember tt when a woman gives with a smile on her face, it doesnt necessarily mean e score is close to even.
3. Martians give when they are asked.
-for men: remember tt a woman instinctively does not ask for support when she wants it. Instead, she expects you to offer it if you love her. Practice offering to support her in little ways.
4. Venusians say Yes even when e score is uneven.
-for men: remember tt if she says yes to ur requests, it doesnt mean e score is even. The score may be twenty to zero in her mind & she will still happily say Yes/Ok. Agreeing to doing what you want doesnt mean tt it is what she wants. Ask her what she wants to do. Collect info abt what she likes, then offer to take her to those places.
5. Martians give Penalty Points.
-for men: remember tt penalty points are not fair & do not work. At moments when you feel unloved, offended, hurt, forgive her & remember all e good she has given rather than penalize her negating it all. Instead of punishing her, ask her for e support you want, and she will give it. Respectfully let her know she has hurt you. Let her know how she has hurt you and then give her an opportunity to apologize. Punishment does not work! You will feel much better by giving her a chance to give you what you need. Remember she is a Venusian - she doesnt know what you need or how she hurts you.
- Certainly a man also requires equal participation from a woman in doing e domestic duties of day to day life, but if he is not appreciated, then her contribution is nearly meaningless and completely unimportant to him.
-If a man has made a mistake and feels embarrassed, sorry, or ashamed, then he needs her love more...The bigger the mistake, the more points he gives.
-When a man is in a negative state, treat him like a passing tornado and lie low.
Chp11 - How to communicate difficult feelings
-Whether you share e feelings in your letter or you just write a letter to feel better, writing down your feelings is an essential tool.
Love letter technique; - a way to love urself
1. Write a love letter expressing ur feelings of anger, sadness, fear, regret, and love.
2. Write a response letter expression what you want to hear from ur partner.
3. Share your love letter and response letter with ur partner.
-Response letters are e best way to teach a man about a woman's needs.
-Ironically, e very act of avoiding our negative emotions gives them e power to control our lives.
-Books can inspire you to love urself more, but by listenly to, writing out, or verbally expressing ur feelings u r actually doing it.
-To grow in our ability to love ourselves we need to receive love as well.
-When u take e time to listen to ur feelings, u r in effect saying to e little feeling person inside "you matter. u deserve to be heard and i care enough to listen"
Chp12 - How to ask for support and get it
-On venus their motto is " love is never having to ask!"
-If a woman is not asking for support, a man assumes he is giving enough.
3steps: ask correctly & getting what you want.
1. Practice asking correctly for what you're already getting
2. Practice asking for more, even when you know he will say no, and accept his no
3. Practice assertive asking
Step1:
-When a man hears a demanding tone, no matter how nicely you phrase ur request, all he hears is tt he is not giving enough. His tendency is then to give less until you appreciate what he is already giving.
Tips for motivating a Man.
1. Appropriate Timing
2. Non-demanding attitude, be brief ( assume he doesnt have to be convinced ) , be direct, and use correct wording.
-When asking a man for support, assume tt he doesnt have to be convinced.
-"could you" sounds like a demand, not a request to man. and he dont feel appreciated. (feels like being controlled)
-"would you" sounds like a request and a chance to be e good guy. ( feels like " im being trusted to serve" )
-The "c" words sounds too untrusting, indirect, weak, and manipulative, taken for granted.
use "would you please/mind...?"
Step2: Practice asking for more
-Men are much more willing to say yes if they have e freedom to say no.
-When you ask a man for support & you do not reject him for saying no, he will remember tt, and next time he will be much more willing to give.
Step3: Practice Assertive asking. (self-assured/confident)
-When a man grumbles it is a good sign- he is trying to consider ur request versus his needs.
-One of e key elements of assertive asking is to remain silent after you have asked for support.
Chp13 - Keeping e magic of love alive
-It is a paradox: becos you feel safe with ur partner, ur deepest fears have a chance to surface.
When they surface you become afraid and are unable to share what you feel.
-Notes: learning points:
- reassurance is the most important for woman becos they are like waves
-men need to stop giving solutions & start listening
-woman should use e correct words when come to "questioning " their man, esp when they are tired/ in bad mood after a day of work, they might need space to go into their caves.
-ask for support e correct way, accept who he is & appreciate what he do & approve his decisions
-when his down at his lowest, give encouragement
- men should be more thoughtful, in doing more things for her, instead of just fulfilling her in e financial area, or become too busy with work/ over focus in work accomplishment which may cuase her to feel unlove/ neglected/
-love brings up our unresolved feelings.
-90/10 principle: 90% -> past , 10% -> present
-Seasons of love ;
1. spring time - honeymoon period
2. summer - show diff ( compromise)
3. autumn - overcome obstacle -> love grows stronger
4. winter - both need some time/ space alone
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Types of Nonverbal Communication
Types of Nonverbal Communication
8 Major Behaviors:
1. Facial Expression
Facial expressions are responsible for a huge proportion of nonverbal communication. Consider how much information can be conveyed with a smile or a frown. While nonverbal communication and behavior can vary dramatically between cultures, the facial expressions for happiness, sadness, anger and fear are similar throughout the world.
2. Gestures
Deliberate movements and signals are an important way to communicate meaning without words. Common gestures include waving, pointing, and using fingers to indicate numeric amounts. Other gestures are arbitrary and related to culture.
3. Paralinguistics
Paralinguistics refers to vocal communication that is separate from actual language. This includes factors such as tone of voice, loudness, inflection and pitch. Consider the powerful effect that tone of voice can have on the meaning of a sentence. When said in a strong tone of voice, listeners might interpret approval and enthusiasm. The same words said in a hesitant tone of voice might convey disapproval and a lack of interest.
4. Body Language and Posture
Posture and movement can also convey a great deal on information. Research on body language has grown significantly since the 1970's, but popular media have focused on the over-interpretation of defensive postures, arm-crossing, and leg-crossing, especially after the publication of Julius Fast's book Body Language. While these nonverbal behaviors can indicate feelings and attitudes, research suggests that body language is far more subtle and less definitive that previously believed.
5. Proxemics
People often refer to their need for "personal space," which is also an important type of nonverbal communication. The amount of distance we need and the amount of space we perceive as belonging to us is influenced by a number of factors including social norms, situational factors, personality characteristics and level of familiarity. For example, the amount of personal space needed when having a casual conversation with another person usually varies between 18 inches to four feet. On the other hand, the personal distance needed when speaking to a crowd of people is around 10 to 12 feet.
6. Eye Gaze
Looking, staring and blinking can also be important nonverbal behaviors. When people encounter people or things that they like, the rate of blinking increases and pupils dilate. Looking at another person can indicate a range of emotions, including hostility, interest and attraction.
7. Haptics
Communicating through touch is another important nonverbal behavior. There has been a substantial amount of research on the importance of touch in infancy and early childhood. Harry Harlow's classic monkey study demonstrated how the deprivation of touch and contact impedes development. Baby monkeys raised by wire mothers experienced permanent deficits in behavior and social interaction. Touch can be used to communicate affection, familiarity, sympathy and other emotions.
8. Appearance
Our choice of color, clothing, hairstyles and other factors affecting appearance are also considered a means of nonverbal communication. Research on color psychology has demonstrated that different colors can evoke different moods. Appearance can also alter physiological reactions, judgments and interpretations. Just think of all the subtle judgements you quickly make about someone based on his or her appearance. These first impressions are important, which is why experts suggest that job seekers dress appropriately for interviews with potential employers.
8 Major Behaviors:
1. Facial Expression
Facial expressions are responsible for a huge proportion of nonverbal communication. Consider how much information can be conveyed with a smile or a frown. While nonverbal communication and behavior can vary dramatically between cultures, the facial expressions for happiness, sadness, anger and fear are similar throughout the world.
2. Gestures
Deliberate movements and signals are an important way to communicate meaning without words. Common gestures include waving, pointing, and using fingers to indicate numeric amounts. Other gestures are arbitrary and related to culture.
3. Paralinguistics
Paralinguistics refers to vocal communication that is separate from actual language. This includes factors such as tone of voice, loudness, inflection and pitch. Consider the powerful effect that tone of voice can have on the meaning of a sentence. When said in a strong tone of voice, listeners might interpret approval and enthusiasm. The same words said in a hesitant tone of voice might convey disapproval and a lack of interest.
4. Body Language and Posture
Posture and movement can also convey a great deal on information. Research on body language has grown significantly since the 1970's, but popular media have focused on the over-interpretation of defensive postures, arm-crossing, and leg-crossing, especially after the publication of Julius Fast's book Body Language. While these nonverbal behaviors can indicate feelings and attitudes, research suggests that body language is far more subtle and less definitive that previously believed.
5. Proxemics
People often refer to their need for "personal space," which is also an important type of nonverbal communication. The amount of distance we need and the amount of space we perceive as belonging to us is influenced by a number of factors including social norms, situational factors, personality characteristics and level of familiarity. For example, the amount of personal space needed when having a casual conversation with another person usually varies between 18 inches to four feet. On the other hand, the personal distance needed when speaking to a crowd of people is around 10 to 12 feet.
6. Eye Gaze
Looking, staring and blinking can also be important nonverbal behaviors. When people encounter people or things that they like, the rate of blinking increases and pupils dilate. Looking at another person can indicate a range of emotions, including hostility, interest and attraction.
7. Haptics
Communicating through touch is another important nonverbal behavior. There has been a substantial amount of research on the importance of touch in infancy and early childhood. Harry Harlow's classic monkey study demonstrated how the deprivation of touch and contact impedes development. Baby monkeys raised by wire mothers experienced permanent deficits in behavior and social interaction. Touch can be used to communicate affection, familiarity, sympathy and other emotions.
8. Appearance
Our choice of color, clothing, hairstyles and other factors affecting appearance are also considered a means of nonverbal communication. Research on color psychology has demonstrated that different colors can evoke different moods. Appearance can also alter physiological reactions, judgments and interpretations. Just think of all the subtle judgements you quickly make about someone based on his or her appearance. These first impressions are important, which is why experts suggest that job seekers dress appropriately for interviews with potential employers.
Psychology-16 Personalities
How well do you know your own personality? When you reach human-level..formless like water...u can adapt and become anything listed below anytime anywhere...be water my friends!
Descriptors of Low Range
-16 PRIMARY FACTORS-
Descriptors of High Range
Impersonal, distant, cool, reserved, detached, formal, aloof
-WARMTH-
Warm, outgoing, attentive to others, kindly, easy-going, participating, like
s people
Concrete thinking, lower general mental capacity, less intelligent, unable to handle abstract problems
-REASONING-
Abstract-thinking, more intelligent, bright, higher general mental capacity, fast learner
Reactive emotionally, changeable, affected by feelings, emotionally less stable, easily upset
-EMOTIONAL STABILITY-
Emotionally stable, adaptive, mature, faces reality calmly
Deferential, cooperative, avoids conflict, submissive, humble, obedient, easily led, docile, accommodating
-DOMINANCE-
Dominant, forceful, assertive, aggressive, competitive, stubborn, bossy
Serious, restrained, prudent, taciturn, introspective, silent
-LIVELINESS
Lively, animated, spontaneous, enthusiastic, happy-go-lucky, cheerful, expressive, impulsive
Expedient, nonconforming, disregards rules, self indulgent
- RULE-CONSCIOUSNESS -
Rule-conscious, dutiful, conscientious, conforming, moralistic, staid, rule bound
Shy, threat-sensitive, timid, hesitant, intimidated
-SOCIAL BOLDNESS-
Socially bold, venturesome, thick-skinned, uninhibited
Utilitarian, objective, unsentimental, tough minded, self-reliant, no-nonsense, rough
-SENSITIVITY-
Sensitive, aesthetic, sentimental, tender-minded, intuitive, refined
Trusting, unsuspecting, accepting, unconditional, easy
-VIGILANCE-
Vigilant, suspicious, skeptical, distrustful, oppositional
Grounded, practical, prosaic, solution oriented, steady, conventional
-ABSTRACTEDNESS-
Abstract, imaginative, absent minded, impractical, absorbed in ideas
Forthright, genuine, artless, open, guileless, naive, unpretentious, involved
-PRIVATENESS-
Private, discreet, non-disclosing, shrewd, polished, worldly, astute, diplomatic
Self-assured, unworried, complacent, secure, free of guilt, confident, self satisfied
-APPREHENSION-
Apprehensive, self-doubting, worried, guilt prone, insecure, worrying, self blaming
Traditional, attached to familiar, conservative, respecting traditional ideas
-OPENNESS TO CHANGE-
Open to change, experimental, liberal, analytical, critical, free-thinking, flexibility
Group-oriented, affiliative, a joiner and follower dependent Self-Reliance
-SELF RELIANCE-
Self-reliant, solitary, resourceful, individualistic, self-sufficient
Tolerates disorder, unexacting, flexible, undisciplined, lax, self-conflict, impulsive, careless of social rules, uncontrolled
-PERFECTIONISM-
Perfectionistic, organized, compulsive, self-disciplined, socially precise, exacting will power, control, self-sentimental
Relaxed, placid, tranquil, torpid, patient, composed low drive
-TENSION-
Tense, high energy, impatient, driven, frustrated, over wrought, time driven.
The Big Five framework of personality traits; a robust model for understanding the relationship between personality and various academic behaviors. The Big Five factors are:
Openness (inventive/curious vs. consistent/cautious)
Conscientiousness (efficient/organized vs. easy-going/careless)
Extraversion (outgoing/energetic vs. solitary/reserved)
Agreeableness (friendly/compassionate vs. cold/unkind)
Neuroticism (sensitive/nervous vs. secure/confident)
Acronyms commonly used to refer to the five traits collectively are OCEAN or CANOE.
Some of the areas of psychology I'm more interested in: COGNITIVE, COMMUNITY, EDUCATIONAL, EVOLUTIONARY, HEALTH, MEDIA, PERSONALITY, SOCIAL and DEVELOPMENTAL.
COGNITIVE psychology studies cognition, the mental processes underlying mental activity. Perception, learning, problem solving, reasoning, thinking, memory, attention, language and emotion are areas of research.
COMMUNITY psychology deals
with the relationships of the individual to communities and the wider society. Community psychologists seek to understand the quality of life of individuals, communities, and society. Their aim is to enhance quality of life through collaborative research and action.Community psychology makes use of various perspectives within and outside of psychology to address issues of communities, the relationships within them, and people's attitudes about them. Through collaborative research and action, community psychologists (practitioners and researchers) seek to understand and to enhance quality of life for individuals, communities, and society. Community psychology takes a public health approach and focuses on PREVENTION and early intervention as a means to solve problems in addition to treatment. The perspective of community psychology is an ecological perspective with the person-environment fit being the FOCUS OF STUDY AND ACTION instead of attempting to change the person or the environment when an individual is seen as having a problem.
EDUCATIONAL psychology is the study of how humans learn in educational settings, the effectiveness of educational interventions, the psychology of teaching, and the social psychology of schools as organizations. Child psychologists create teaching methods and educational practices. Educational psychology is often included in teacher education programs, at least in North America, Australia, and New Zealand.
EVOLUTIONARY psychology explores the genetic roots of mental and behavioral patterns, and posits that common patterns may have emerged because they were highly adaptive for humans in the environments of their evolutionary past.
HEALTH psychology is the application of psychological theory and research to health, illness and health care. Whereas clinical psychology focuses on mental health and neurological illness, health psychology is concerned with the psychology of a much wider range of health-related behavior including healthy eating, the doctor-patient relationship, a patient's understanding of health information, and beliefs about illness. Health psychologists may be involved in public health campaigns, examining the impact of illness or health policy on quality of life and in research into the psychological impact of health and social care.
MEDIA psychology seeks an understanding of the relationships between mediated communication and the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of the senders and recipients of the communication. For instance, a media psychologist might determine that depressed individuals are especially likely to watch television.
PERSONALITY psychology studies enduring patterns of behavior, thought, and emotion in individuals, commonly referred to as personality. Theories of personality vary across different psychological schools and orientations. They carry different assumptions about such issues as the role of the unconscious and the importance of childhood experience. According to Freud, personality is based on the dynamic interactions of the ego, superego, and id. Trait theorists, in contrast, attempt to analyze personality in terms of a discrete number of key traits by the statistical method of factor analysis.
SOCIAL psychology is the study of social behavior and mental processes, with an emphasis on how humans think about each other and how they relate to each other. Social psychologists are especially interested in how people react to social situations. They study such topics as the influence of others on an individual's behavior (e.g. conformity, persuasion), and the formation of beliefs, attitudes, and stereotypes about other people. Social cognition fuses elements of social and cognitive psychology in order to understand how people process, remember, and distort social information. The study of group dynamics reveals information about the nature and potential optimization of leadership, communication, and other phenomena that emerge at least at the microsocial level. In recent years, many social psychologists have become increasingly interested in implicit measures, mediational models, and the interaction of both person and social variables in accounting for behavior.
Mainly focusing on the development of the human mind through the life span, DEVELOPMENTAL psychology seeks to understand how people come to perceive, understand, and act within the world and how these processes change as they age. This may focus on intellectual, cognitive, neural, social, or moral development.
MORAL DEVELOPMENT focuses on the emergence, change, and understanding of morality from infancy through adulthood. In the field of moral development, morality is defined as principles for how individuals ought to treat one another, with respect to justice, others’ welfare, and rights. In order to investigate how individuals understand morality, it is essential to measure their beliefs, emotions, attitudes, and behaviors that contribute to moral understanding. The field of moral development studies the role of peers and parents in facilitating moral development, the role of conscience and values, socialization and cultural influences, empathy and altruism, and positive development. The interest in morality spans many disciplines (e.g., philosophy, economics, biology, and political science) and specializations within psychology (e.g., social, cognitive, and cultural). Moral developmental psychology research focuses on questions of origins and change in morality across the lifespan.
One of my favorite Mind Game:
Reverse psychology is a technique involving the advocacy of a belief or behavior that is opposite to the one desired, with the expectation that this approach will encourage the subject of the persuasion to do what actually is desired: the opposite of what is suggested. This technique relies on the psychological phenomenon of reactance, in which a person has a negativ
e emotional response in reaction to being persuaded, and thus chooses the option which is being advocated against.
Reverse psychology can also prey on a person's ego, as when it is used, it can make the target feel incompetent; effectively persuading the person to perform the desired action. When this psychology is used in limit it is going to give best results. But when used invariably its going to be a very bad hit on the potential of the child/individual. Whenever this psychology is used the brain triggers on the questioning of the opponent and forces and believes that it has the individual to work on the act. The main reason is there will be a minor hit on the ego of the individual.
Descriptors of Low Range
-16 PRIMARY FACTORS-
Descriptors of High Range
Impersonal, distant, cool, reserved, detached, formal, aloof
-WARMTH-
Warm, outgoing, attentive to others, kindly, easy-going, participating, like
s people
Concrete thinking, lower general mental capacity, less intelligent, unable to handle abstract problems
-REASONING-
Abstract-thinking, more intelligent, bright, higher general mental capacity, fast learner
Reactive emotionally, changeable, affected by feelings, emotionally less stable, easily upset
-EMOTIONAL STABILITY-
Emotionally stable, adaptive, mature, faces reality calmly
Deferential, cooperative, avoids conflict, submissive, humble, obedient, easily led, docile, accommodating
-DOMINANCE-
Dominant, forceful, assertive, aggressive, competitive, stubborn, bossy
Serious, restrained, prudent, taciturn, introspective, silent
-LIVELINESS
Lively, animated, spontaneous, enthusiastic, happy-go-lucky, cheerful, expressive, impulsive
Expedient, nonconforming, disregards rules, self indulgent
- RULE-CONSCIOUSNESS -
Rule-conscious, dutiful, conscientious, conforming, moralistic, staid, rule bound
Shy, threat-sensitive, timid, hesitant, intimidated
-SOCIAL BOLDNESS-
Socially bold, venturesome, thick-skinned, uninhibited
Utilitarian, objective, unsentimental, tough minded, self-reliant, no-nonsense, rough
-SENSITIVITY-
Sensitive, aesthetic, sentimental, tender-minded, intuitive, refined
Trusting, unsuspecting, accepting, unconditional, easy
-VIGILANCE-
Vigilant, suspicious, skeptical, distrustful, oppositional
Grounded, practical, prosaic, solution oriented, steady, conventional
-ABSTRACTEDNESS-
Abstract, imaginative, absent minded, impractical, absorbed in ideas
Forthright, genuine, artless, open, guileless, naive, unpretentious, involved
-PRIVATENESS-
Private, discreet, non-disclosing, shrewd, polished, worldly, astute, diplomatic
Self-assured, unworried, complacent, secure, free of guilt, confident, self satisfied
-APPREHENSION-
Apprehensive, self-doubting, worried, guilt prone, insecure, worrying, self blaming
Traditional, attached to familiar, conservative, respecting traditional ideas
-OPENNESS TO CHANGE-
Open to change, experimental, liberal, analytical, critical, free-thinking, flexibility
Group-oriented, affiliative, a joiner and follower dependent Self-Reliance
-SELF RELIANCE-
Self-reliant, solitary, resourceful, individualistic, self-sufficient
Tolerates disorder, unexacting, flexible, undisciplined, lax, self-conflict, impulsive, careless of social rules, uncontrolled
-PERFECTIONISM-
Perfectionistic, organized, compulsive, self-disciplined, socially precise, exacting will power, control, self-sentimental
Relaxed, placid, tranquil, torpid, patient, composed low drive
-TENSION-
Tense, high energy, impatient, driven, frustrated, over wrought, time driven.
The Big Five framework of personality traits; a robust model for understanding the relationship between personality and various academic behaviors. The Big Five factors are:
Openness (inventive/curious vs. consistent/cautious)
Conscientiousness (efficient/organized vs. easy-going/careless)
Extraversion (outgoing/energetic vs. solitary/reserved)
Agreeableness (friendly/compassionate vs. cold/unkind)
Neuroticism (sensitive/nervous vs. secure/confident)
Acronyms commonly used to refer to the five traits collectively are OCEAN or CANOE.
Some of the areas of psychology I'm more interested in: COGNITIVE, COMMUNITY, EDUCATIONAL, EVOLUTIONARY, HEALTH, MEDIA, PERSONALITY, SOCIAL and DEVELOPMENTAL.
COGNITIVE psychology studies cognition, the mental processes underlying mental activity. Perception, learning, problem solving, reasoning, thinking, memory, attention, language and emotion are areas of research.
COMMUNITY psychology deals
with the relationships of the individual to communities and the wider society. Community psychologists seek to understand the quality of life of individuals, communities, and society. Their aim is to enhance quality of life through collaborative research and action.Community psychology makes use of various perspectives within and outside of psychology to address issues of communities, the relationships within them, and people's attitudes about them. Through collaborative research and action, community psychologists (practitioners and researchers) seek to understand and to enhance quality of life for individuals, communities, and society. Community psychology takes a public health approach and focuses on PREVENTION and early intervention as a means to solve problems in addition to treatment. The perspective of community psychology is an ecological perspective with the person-environment fit being the FOCUS OF STUDY AND ACTION instead of attempting to change the person or the environment when an individual is seen as having a problem.
EDUCATIONAL psychology is the study of how humans learn in educational settings, the effectiveness of educational interventions, the psychology of teaching, and the social psychology of schools as organizations. Child psychologists create teaching methods and educational practices. Educational psychology is often included in teacher education programs, at least in North America, Australia, and New Zealand.
EVOLUTIONARY psychology explores the genetic roots of mental and behavioral patterns, and posits that common patterns may have emerged because they were highly adaptive for humans in the environments of their evolutionary past.
HEALTH psychology is the application of psychological theory and research to health, illness and health care. Whereas clinical psychology focuses on mental health and neurological illness, health psychology is concerned with the psychology of a much wider range of health-related behavior including healthy eating, the doctor-patient relationship, a patient's understanding of health information, and beliefs about illness. Health psychologists may be involved in public health campaigns, examining the impact of illness or health policy on quality of life and in research into the psychological impact of health and social care.
MEDIA psychology seeks an understanding of the relationships between mediated communication and the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of the senders and recipients of the communication. For instance, a media psychologist might determine that depressed individuals are especially likely to watch television.
PERSONALITY psychology studies enduring patterns of behavior, thought, and emotion in individuals, commonly referred to as personality. Theories of personality vary across different psychological schools and orientations. They carry different assumptions about such issues as the role of the unconscious and the importance of childhood experience. According to Freud, personality is based on the dynamic interactions of the ego, superego, and id. Trait theorists, in contrast, attempt to analyze personality in terms of a discrete number of key traits by the statistical method of factor analysis.
SOCIAL psychology is the study of social behavior and mental processes, with an emphasis on how humans think about each other and how they relate to each other. Social psychologists are especially interested in how people react to social situations. They study such topics as the influence of others on an individual's behavior (e.g. conformity, persuasion), and the formation of beliefs, attitudes, and stereotypes about other people. Social cognition fuses elements of social and cognitive psychology in order to understand how people process, remember, and distort social information. The study of group dynamics reveals information about the nature and potential optimization of leadership, communication, and other phenomena that emerge at least at the microsocial level. In recent years, many social psychologists have become increasingly interested in implicit measures, mediational models, and the interaction of both person and social variables in accounting for behavior.
Mainly focusing on the development of the human mind through the life span, DEVELOPMENTAL psychology seeks to understand how people come to perceive, understand, and act within the world and how these processes change as they age. This may focus on intellectual, cognitive, neural, social, or moral development.
MORAL DEVELOPMENT focuses on the emergence, change, and understanding of morality from infancy through adulthood. In the field of moral development, morality is defined as principles for how individuals ought to treat one another, with respect to justice, others’ welfare, and rights. In order to investigate how individuals understand morality, it is essential to measure their beliefs, emotions, attitudes, and behaviors that contribute to moral understanding. The field of moral development studies the role of peers and parents in facilitating moral development, the role of conscience and values, socialization and cultural influences, empathy and altruism, and positive development. The interest in morality spans many disciplines (e.g., philosophy, economics, biology, and political science) and specializations within psychology (e.g., social, cognitive, and cultural). Moral developmental psychology research focuses on questions of origins and change in morality across the lifespan.
One of my favorite Mind Game:
Reverse psychology is a technique involving the advocacy of a belief or behavior that is opposite to the one desired, with the expectation that this approach will encourage the subject of the persuasion to do what actually is desired: the opposite of what is suggested. This technique relies on the psychological phenomenon of reactance, in which a person has a negativ
e emotional response in reaction to being persuaded, and thus chooses the option which is being advocated against.
Reverse psychology can also prey on a person's ego, as when it is used, it can make the target feel incompetent; effectively persuading the person to perform the desired action. When this psychology is used in limit it is going to give best results. But when used invariably its going to be a very bad hit on the potential of the child/individual. Whenever this psychology is used the brain triggers on the questioning of the opponent and forces and believes that it has the individual to work on the act. The main reason is there will be a minor hit on the ego of the individual.
PTIM0nK's Philosophy/Thoughts/Dreams (Sep2012)
Many things have been always as they are...until there are social medias like youtube, facebook and stomp revealing the ugly side of human beings affecting the mindset of our future generations. Time shall reveal all consequences...
-PTIM0nK
There is no need to let others know on purpose or explain or prove oneself, for a True Master do not need to go down the "mountain" to seek for any student.
-PTIM0nK
Grasp ideas,improvise and adapt and inculcate into your HBMS.
-PTIM0nK
Using external forces to indirectly force a change/awareness/growth in its people by the powerful thus breaking "trapped" people away from all forms of cycles...those who fail to adapt shall suffer...I'm loving it! =)
-PTIM0nK
The internet is full of knowledge and nonsense, the stupid pickup more nonsense, the clever pickup more knowledge and the wise pickup knowledge from both.
-PTIM0nK
I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.
~Frederick Douglass
Why the media always mention "all men are the same" but i have yet to hear any mention "all women are the same" ? this might be one of the "hidden brainwashing" repeatedly shaping the mindsets of most..off-tracking "secret values" between the sexes..causing problems that doesn't exist in the past to arise.
-PTIM0nK
Old-time Parents' "Ultimate" communication technique to nurture a child:
6 "secret" questions to "educate" your child to become clever and obedient. =)
go where? 去哪裡？
go with who? 和誰一起去？
what time come back? 什麼時候回來？
what you eat? 吃什麼？
finish your homework? 做完你的功課嗎？
get how many "A"s? 考到几个"A"s ？
and finally...end any conversation with below:
you will know when you grow up! 你长大了就会知道!
-PTIM0nK Sarcasm
Feelings n emotions will change overtime, results in the bigger picture doesnt lie, but to gain respect is by acknowledging before showing others the bigger picture...not by proving ppl wrong with good results.
-PTIM0nK
“There’s nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child.”
- Frank A. Clark
旧的不去新的不来: applies to almost everything logically. A Change only takes place if you are aware to make space for one and to trigger your mind to find something to cover the empty space. Once you are satisfied, the cycle continues and you shall return to your comfort zone till the next awareness to change occurs.
-PTIM0nK
As we express our gratitude , we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
~ John F. Kennedy
Rich and successful people are solution-oriented; they spend their time and energy strategizing and planning the answers to challenges that come up, and creating systems to make certain that problem doesn’t occur again.
-???
Any personal breakthrough is nothing more than a sense of achievement once achieved, merely a pointer to self-satisfaction and ego , however crucial for maintaining a certain level of self-esteem hold on subconsciously which creates a sense of personal identity.
-PTIM0nK
If you fail to take the 1st step by taking action, and instead just talk about it, u shall be blinded from many other possible paths awaiting for you.
-PTIM0nK
"Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential." - Winston Churchill
Life is a MMORPG, if you like it fun and exciting, it will be...if you find it boring or tough it will also be. So how do you want to play the game of life?
-PTIM0nK
To counter reverse psychology is to use reverse-reverse psychology to reveal the truth and find out everything behind the scene.
-PTIM0nK
Master of natural real life actor and powerful human-reader.."grabbing info" within & behind the scene..only those who possess these power will notice another with it.
-PTIM0nK
A well-planned speech can only influence positively when hearts are truely touched resulting in changes through others' subconcious minds causing action taken that continuously shape the universe via law of attraction.
However those hearts untouched will result in reverse psychology effect for respect is not gained due to the difference in outcome and what is said leaving bad impression and negativity in the long run. A truely powerful leader will not have fear to admit faults and take responsibility of bad outcomes before one can change others' mindset again.
-PTIM0nK
Converting raw data into self-knowledge and then converting self-knowledge into wisdom is such a beautiful art.
-PTIM0nK
An opinion given by one for an open question/topic/study can reveal one's identity and standing. The wiser can shift oneself to any point of view to understand where others' views are coming from, and esp accurate just by knowing what one has been working as.
-PTIM0nK
Every living soul is reborn to give and every past is the "price" we paid.
-PTIM0nK
The current world is about human beings, in my opinion...an extremist focus his thoughts on planning to do something...not taking our fellow humans' future into considerations...he is selfish to the certain extent and that the amount of time he spent in this way i consider as wasted time.
-PTIM0nK
Human shapes the world with their thoughts which manifest into destiny and fate of the entire human race. All the negativity from the past shall surface in the form of tragedy,disaster and terrorism.
-PTIM0nK
You are who you are now for positioning your physical body around the people you choose to listen,observe and learn via law of attraction.
-PTIM0nK
You can have lots of fun noisy times or you can grow yourself with lots of quiet times.
-PTIM0nK
I always enjoy acting a different me to observe and to read humans inside-out. It is obvious to me when one acted inconsistently. Different age categories indeed behave in a certain way particularly due to the info they feed themselve with since birth by the law of attraction. It's obvious and easy to catch the difference for the older gen humans whether they have catch up with the rapid changes in this world and to what extend and those who are "stuck" in their own unique cycles.
-PTIM0nK
One rate the importance of his own thoughts. A $ minded businessman will be aroused by $ making thoughts while one might unknowingly offend another with opposing thoughts due to clash of interest and rating others' thoughts as of lower importance.
-PTIM0nK
The root of all problems is humans' mindset caused by the education and media they received while they remain curious and open, however once their mindset is deeply rooted, i believe it's too late. It's almost impossible to uproot the mindset of majority in a short period of time as a sudden major change is just too rare but may begin to take place gradually if they continue to believe in the directions set by the leaders and remain receptive to the coaches.
-PTIM0nK
The root of all problems is like initial stage of a snowball effect,a vicious circle, a "spiral of decline", the slower it is being tackled...the harder to solve it. As it rolls, the ball will pick up more snow, gaining more mass and surface area, and picking up even more snow and momentum as it rolls along. It might even crash someday. The Art of Prevention is to stop any from rolling down the hi
llside. As the world is evolving in an increasing rate, more and more small balls of snow built up from the past have already rolled into bigger ones. Humans can continue to live in denial and ignore these rolling snowballs but the impact of such shall be the consequences for our own future of humanity.
-PTIM0nK
1 hr of gangnam style a day keeps the doctor and fats away! XD
-PTIM0nK
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
― Albert Einstein
Strong brand=differentiation->unique selling proposition->Innovation. Else competing price.
-Business Branding
WEB INFO:
Whether we recognize it or not, the information that we expose ourselves to, fills our inner space on some level, and affects our emotions and desires.
And if we are not careful, we can easily rush through life, while spending our precious time on this planet focused on that which does not matter – and then wonder where did my life go? Why do I feel unsettled and easily irritated? Why do I feel unfulfilled and incomplete? And then we die wondering.
If you are here, breathing and reading this right now, then you have been blessed with this day, to wake up! Wake up and take control of your destiny, starting with what you focus on and allow into your life (regardless of your age).
Follow these four rules to inner cleanse:
Say what you mean. Mean what you say.
Don’t say to anyone unless you can say to everyone.
Don’t say inside, what you cannot say outside.
Don’t say unless it is true, useful or kind.
Living life pure and shiny without fear...my true enlightenment...for real freedom
There are always at least two sides to every story, but in an unconscious state, we passionately choose one side and attach ourselves to it. Of course, if I were to ask the other people involved, they too would give you a side of the story that demonstrated unfairness towards them and their interests. After all, when feelings are hurt and pride is on the line, the easiest thing to do is to find a villain to absorb the blame. Where the ego’s concerned, it’s always a losing battle.
All challenges are there to teach us a lesson, embrace it.
We experience what we put out. - Law of Attraction
Every day, there are miracles happening all around us, yet, in a state of deep unawareness, we fail to see them.Even the happiest of events, can be diluted when we’re consumed with problems.
Our minds are naturally and automatically attracted to problems. Even when everything else is goi
ng well, our mind looks for conflicts, issues, differences and problems. We can’t handle how happy we actually are, and how there’s really nothing to be worried about. Without problems, our ego has nothing to cling to.
All problems are rooted in our interpretation of an external circumstance. Thus, all problems are really created in our heads. They don’t actually exist, except in our own projection of a tale we have convinced ourselves of and believe to be true.
We suffer, unnecessarily, in advance of an anticipated outcome or event. Nothing has happened yet, but because we have imagined the worst case scenario in our mind, we become afraid of what might happen. As a result, we suffer in advance of a possible scenario that may or may not take place in the future.
There is nothing we can’t handle, even death. It doesn’t matter how much suffering we endure ahead of time, when the anticipated event happens, it happens, and we move on. The actual event is rarely as bad as we had anticipated. We are stronger than we think.
Every single day, we have the choice to choose between problems and no problems. It’s the meaning we give to something that defines how we feel about that thing.
Every moment of every day, we have choices. We always have choices.
We can choose to see the good in people and circumstances.
We can choose to give love and compassion.
We can choose to smile.
We can choose to take responsibility.
We can choose to surrender to the moment.
We can choose to change ourselves.
We can choose to focus on things we enjoy.
We can choose to take action.
We can choose happiness.
U can change anytime anywhere.
-PTIM0nK
There is no need to let others know on purpose or explain or prove oneself, for a True Master do not need to go down the "mountain" to seek for any student.
-PTIM0nK
Grasp ideas,improvise and adapt and inculcate into your HBMS.
-PTIM0nK
Using external forces to indirectly force a change/awareness/growth in its people by the powerful thus breaking "trapped" people away from all forms of cycles...those who fail to adapt shall suffer...I'm loving it! =)
-PTIM0nK
The internet is full of knowledge and nonsense, the stupid pickup more nonsense, the clever pickup more knowledge and the wise pickup knowledge from both.
-PTIM0nK
I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.
~Frederick Douglass
Why the media always mention "all men are the same" but i have yet to hear any mention "all women are the same" ? this might be one of the "hidden brainwashing" repeatedly shaping the mindsets of most..off-tracking "secret values" between the sexes..causing problems that doesn't exist in the past to arise.
-PTIM0nK
Old-time Parents' "Ultimate" communication technique to nurture a child:
6 "secret" questions to "educate" your child to become clever and obedient. =)
go where? 去哪裡？
go with who? 和誰一起去？
what time come back? 什麼時候回來？
what you eat? 吃什麼？
finish your homework? 做完你的功課嗎？
get how many "A"s? 考到几个"A"s ？
and finally...end any conversation with below:
you will know when you grow up! 你长大了就会知道!
-PTIM0nK Sarcasm
Feelings n emotions will change overtime, results in the bigger picture doesnt lie, but to gain respect is by acknowledging before showing others the bigger picture...not by proving ppl wrong with good results.
-PTIM0nK
“There’s nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child.”
- Frank A. Clark
旧的不去新的不来: applies to almost everything logically. A Change only takes place if you are aware to make space for one and to trigger your mind to find something to cover the empty space. Once you are satisfied, the cycle continues and you shall return to your comfort zone till the next awareness to change occurs.
-PTIM0nK
As we express our gratitude , we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
~ John F. Kennedy
Rich and successful people are solution-oriented; they spend their time and energy strategizing and planning the answers to challenges that come up, and creating systems to make certain that problem doesn’t occur again.
-???
Any personal breakthrough is nothing more than a sense of achievement once achieved, merely a pointer to self-satisfaction and ego , however crucial for maintaining a certain level of self-esteem hold on subconsciously which creates a sense of personal identity.
-PTIM0nK
If you fail to take the 1st step by taking action, and instead just talk about it, u shall be blinded from many other possible paths awaiting for you.
-PTIM0nK
"Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential." - Winston Churchill
Life is a MMORPG, if you like it fun and exciting, it will be...if you find it boring or tough it will also be. So how do you want to play the game of life?
-PTIM0nK
To counter reverse psychology is to use reverse-reverse psychology to reveal the truth and find out everything behind the scene.
-PTIM0nK
Master of natural real life actor and powerful human-reader.."grabbing info" within & behind the scene..only those who possess these power will notice another with it.
-PTIM0nK
A well-planned speech can only influence positively when hearts are truely touched resulting in changes through others' subconcious minds causing action taken that continuously shape the universe via law of attraction.
However those hearts untouched will result in reverse psychology effect for respect is not gained due to the difference in outcome and what is said leaving bad impression and negativity in the long run. A truely powerful leader will not have fear to admit faults and take responsibility of bad outcomes before one can change others' mindset again.
-PTIM0nK
Converting raw data into self-knowledge and then converting self-knowledge into wisdom is such a beautiful art.
-PTIM0nK
An opinion given by one for an open question/topic/study can reveal one's identity and standing. The wiser can shift oneself to any point of view to understand where others' views are coming from, and esp accurate just by knowing what one has been working as.
-PTIM0nK
Every living soul is reborn to give and every past is the "price" we paid.
-PTIM0nK
The current world is about human beings, in my opinion...an extremist focus his thoughts on planning to do something...not taking our fellow humans' future into considerations...he is selfish to the certain extent and that the amount of time he spent in this way i consider as wasted time.
-PTIM0nK
Human shapes the world with their thoughts which manifest into destiny and fate of the entire human race. All the negativity from the past shall surface in the form of tragedy,disaster and terrorism.
-PTIM0nK
You are who you are now for positioning your physical body around the people you choose to listen,observe and learn via law of attraction.
-PTIM0nK
You can have lots of fun noisy times or you can grow yourself with lots of quiet times.
-PTIM0nK
I always enjoy acting a different me to observe and to read humans inside-out. It is obvious to me when one acted inconsistently. Different age categories indeed behave in a certain way particularly due to the info they feed themselve with since birth by the law of attraction. It's obvious and easy to catch the difference for the older gen humans whether they have catch up with the rapid changes in this world and to what extend and those who are "stuck" in their own unique cycles.
-PTIM0nK
One rate the importance of his own thoughts. A $ minded businessman will be aroused by $ making thoughts while one might unknowingly offend another with opposing thoughts due to clash of interest and rating others' thoughts as of lower importance.
-PTIM0nK
The root of all problems is humans' mindset caused by the education and media they received while they remain curious and open, however once their mindset is deeply rooted, i believe it's too late. It's almost impossible to uproot the mindset of majority in a short period of time as a sudden major change is just too rare but may begin to take place gradually if they continue to believe in the directions set by the leaders and remain receptive to the coaches.
-PTIM0nK
The root of all problems is like initial stage of a snowball effect,a vicious circle, a "spiral of decline", the slower it is being tackled...the harder to solve it. As it rolls, the ball will pick up more snow, gaining more mass and surface area, and picking up even more snow and momentum as it rolls along. It might even crash someday. The Art of Prevention is to stop any from rolling down the hi
llside. As the world is evolving in an increasing rate, more and more small balls of snow built up from the past have already rolled into bigger ones. Humans can continue to live in denial and ignore these rolling snowballs but the impact of such shall be the consequences for our own future of humanity.
-PTIM0nK
1 hr of gangnam style a day keeps the doctor and fats away! XD
-PTIM0nK
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
― Albert Einstein
Strong brand=differentiation->unique selling proposition->Innovation. Else competing price.
-Business Branding
WEB INFO:
Whether we recognize it or not, the information that we expose ourselves to, fills our inner space on some level, and affects our emotions and desires.
And if we are not careful, we can easily rush through life, while spending our precious time on this planet focused on that which does not matter – and then wonder where did my life go? Why do I feel unsettled and easily irritated? Why do I feel unfulfilled and incomplete? And then we die wondering.
If you are here, breathing and reading this right now, then you have been blessed with this day, to wake up! Wake up and take control of your destiny, starting with what you focus on and allow into your life (regardless of your age).
Follow these four rules to inner cleanse:
Say what you mean. Mean what you say.
Don’t say to anyone unless you can say to everyone.
Don’t say inside, what you cannot say outside.
Don’t say unless it is true, useful or kind.
Living life pure and shiny without fear...my true enlightenment...for real freedom
There are always at least two sides to every story, but in an unconscious state, we passionately choose one side and attach ourselves to it. Of course, if I were to ask the other people involved, they too would give you a side of the story that demonstrated unfairness towards them and their interests. After all, when feelings are hurt and pride is on the line, the easiest thing to do is to find a villain to absorb the blame. Where the ego’s concerned, it’s always a losing battle.
All challenges are there to teach us a lesson, embrace it.
We experience what we put out. - Law of Attraction
Every day, there are miracles happening all around us, yet, in a state of deep unawareness, we fail to see them.Even the happiest of events, can be diluted when we’re consumed with problems.
Our minds are naturally and automatically attracted to problems. Even when everything else is goi
ng well, our mind looks for conflicts, issues, differences and problems. We can’t handle how happy we actually are, and how there’s really nothing to be worried about. Without problems, our ego has nothing to cling to.
All problems are rooted in our interpretation of an external circumstance. Thus, all problems are really created in our heads. They don’t actually exist, except in our own projection of a tale we have convinced ourselves of and believe to be true.
We suffer, unnecessarily, in advance of an anticipated outcome or event. Nothing has happened yet, but because we have imagined the worst case scenario in our mind, we become afraid of what might happen. As a result, we suffer in advance of a possible scenario that may or may not take place in the future.
There is nothing we can’t handle, even death. It doesn’t matter how much suffering we endure ahead of time, when the anticipated event happens, it happens, and we move on. The actual event is rarely as bad as we had anticipated. We are stronger than we think.
Every single day, we have the choice to choose between problems and no problems. It’s the meaning we give to something that defines how we feel about that thing.
Every moment of every day, we have choices. We always have choices.
We can choose to see the good in people and circumstances.
We can choose to give love and compassion.
We can choose to smile.
We can choose to take responsibility.
We can choose to surrender to the moment.
We can choose to change ourselves.
We can choose to focus on things we enjoy.
We can choose to take action.
We can choose happiness.
U can change anytime anywhere.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Friday, August 17, 2012
The Legend Reborn - MY LIFE! MY STORY!!
2001 - sec 3 (16 pullup; 1handpushup-either hand-22times with the other free hand flat on back)
2002 - sec 4 (21 pullup)
2003 - NYP year 1 (22 sets of 10 pullup with 1min rest in between)
2004 -Join NYP dragonboat ( 37 pullup-highest personal record )
NYP: 3000 push up and situps on average weekly (non training days <50days/year)
Favourite swimming routine: swim 50m come up do min 20pushup and down back in water no rest
Highest swim laps done: 100freestyle laps + 1000 pushups in about 3hrs =abrasion under armpits XD
2007 - 3 week insane PTI course (with 8kgs bag whereever i go)
Done thousands of knuckle pushups on hardground,road,drains,sands, in more than 45° decline angle and many more nonsence improper torturing at SOC ground, running with fireman ladder..bla bla bla
Weight drop from 58kg to 49kg after 3 weeks
2008- As a Physical trainer in SCDF. MY Fitness My Pride Gold standard IPPT
(Personal Best: 2.4KM 9.34min, sbj 257cm, situp 72/min, shuttlerun 9.6sec, pullup 34)
Later on during NS: I bulked up 12kg in 6months to 66kg and somehow understand the difficulty in running with those sudden extra weights...not to say those who are obese and trying to start to loss alot of weights..Therefore i respect many out there who have done it and those still doing it.
After NS - I proceed to earn my Degree and went to Tekong to coach the recruits for abt 4months.
From the looks on their eyes..i know i have added values into them as they come to me for more advices...i feel really happy for them for those guys whom drop abt 10-25kg in just 3months and i know they will continue to improve on their fitness and health on their own. Some have never passed IPPT and have gotten Gold for their final IPPT b4 they POP. I myself have enjoyed training with them, and bring up pullup counts from 27 to 34 yet again.
I felt a special feeling undescribable inside my body...everything Done by Bruce I felt as If its done by me in the past.
Few years have past...by 2012 i have found all the answers that have ever born in my mind since birth
I am Bruce Lee Reincarnation without a single doubt. No one can shake my belief now.
I believe I have pre-plan, pre-chosen everything before i am reborned in this yet peaceful place.
Weight as of Aug 2012 : 57.5kg
I have since started yet another new life: learning from the past & present of everything anything everyone anyone...constantly seeking for new knowledge and wisdom. I believe my understanding about life and the future has reached a certain height beyond this universe...researching into
1. Humanity Cycle (relationships)
2. Socialization Triangle
3. World Population Well Being ( Human Races)
4. Types of Human ( Charectors/Personalities)
5. Law of Attraction
6. Human Capacity/Limitations ( Container as Physical Body for the Soul)
7. Law of Reincarnations and Death
8. Dreams ( Message from the past/God?)
9. Law of Retribution & Sin ( karma force?)
10. Emotions/Feelings ( Both positive & negative )
11. Human Rules & Values in Life ( True Freedom/Happiness)
12. Regrets/Law of Prevention/Foresight ( Unsolved Past/How can it be prevented? )
13. Law of Time ( Endlessness, multiple round universe? , blackhole...and beyond)
Thank You!
My Collections
Thank You LKY...without you i will not be reborn here.
PTIM0nK's Philosophy/Thoughts/Dreams (Aug2012)
Mastery in Feeling: u shall conquer all ur FEAR n become fearless, feed on all DESPAIR n see a sadist in ur mirror, carry all e blame on urself n drown in GUILT, ENVY everyone else around u n exp e jealousy n then HATE everything with all ur might and exp ANGER like a berserker, release everything with CRITICISM n start to WORRY about external responce, however end up with lots of DISAPPOINTMENT n start to exp extreme IRRITATION n end up with a period of BOREDOM.
Soon...u start to think SATISFACTION tt things were actually not tt bad
n begin to exp HOPE n then gain ENTHUSIASM in e things u do n exp
EXCITEMENT, somehow u found ur PASSION n exp lots of JOY, then u feel
utmost GRATITUDE n able to appreciate everything around u..now tt u have
gone thru n learn all e above u shall accumulate enough LOVE for urself
n finally able to spread e abundance to e world.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
To truly enjoy n have fun, there is no need to be serious about anything...except to LEARN.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
Min talking->Max learning..its ok to be quiet sometimes...be wiser my friends...
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
Its a fact tt a change cannot please everyone but those who fail to embrace one will eventually lose out.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
When one reach e peak of a "Triangle"..he can clearly see n understand whats going on below him inside this "Human Triangle"
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
The 1st step in acquisition of wisdom is SILENCE..2nd..LISTEN..3rd..MEMORY..4th..PRACTICE..5th..TEACHING OTHERS..
Be happy, but never satisfied. -BruceLee
E creator creates and play with e laws...While humans r entities in action under all these laws..
-PTIM0nK
Be sure of what you want. I know that my idea is correct, and then the results are satisfactory. In truth, I don't care of reward, because what interests me is put in the machine to get it. My contribution is the extent of my reward and my success. If you cast a stone into a pond, it will set off a series of ripples that will widen to include all the pond. This is exactly what happens when my ideas turn into a well-defined plan of action.
-BruceLee
To be an artist, one of the requirements is purity of heart.
-BruceLee
Its not wad happens to u, but how u react to it tt matters.
Do not waste one moment in regret, for to think with e feeling of e past is to re-infect urself.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with e intent of throwing it at someone else; u r e one getting burned.
Through ur ability to think n feel, u have dominion over all creation.
Destiny is no matter of chance.its a matter of choice.have fun making every single decisions n embrace e outcome happily.
E distinction between past,present n future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.to believe in e things u can see n touch is no belief at all;but to believe in e unseen is a triumph n a blessing.
Logic will get u frm A to B. Imagination will take u everywhere. Plant as many eyes as possible all around the world,universe n even another dimension..feel wad u percieve with these eyes with strong emotions.
One of e most interesting art is e art of expressing oneself-it determine e ability to create impact n influence others around u.
-PTIM0nK
Life is a test? Be a tester,player,gamer...a pro one.
-PTIM0nK
A man who is a master of himself can end a sorrow as he invent a pleasure. I dont want to be at e mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, n to dominate them.
I'm not a master, I'm a student-master, meaning that I have the knowledge of a master and the expertise of a master, but I'm still learning, So I'm a student-master. I don't believe in the word "master", I consider the master as such when they close the casket. -BruceLee
Emotions: the most important engine of our behavior.
-BruceLee
A teacher is never a giver of truth, he is a guide, a pointer to the truth that each student must find for himself. A good teacher is merely a catalyst.
-BruceLee
On why do ppl LIE and live in DENIAL:
When the famous psychoanalyst Carl Jung said, ‘wholeness for humans depends on the ability to own their own shadow’ it was because he recognised that ONLY finding understanding of our dark side could end our underlying insecurity about our fundamental goodness and worth as humans and, in so doing, make us ‘whole’. Similarly, when the ancients emblazoned the words ‘Man, know thyself’ across their sacred temples it was because ONLY understanding of the psychological reason for why we humans have not been ideally behaved could heal that condition. Knowledge, specifically self-knowledge, is what the human race has been tirelessly working towards since the dawn of consciousness.
Yes, the eternal hope, faith, trust and indeed belief of the human race has been that one day the all-clarifying, reconciling, healing and thus TRANSFORMING explanation of human nature would finally be found, freeing humans at last of their insecure, good-and-evil-embattled human condition.
-Bruce Lee
You must be willing to take whatever pieces of life come your way and arrange them so that they work with and for you rather than against you. The key is to be willing. The willingness to arrange rather than complain or make excuses will pay off.
Outrun time or time outrun u...I sprint everyday with all my heart mind n soul...
-PTIM0nK
Play with the laws of life and u will recieve all the answers to all your questions to yourself.
-PTIM0nK
Certainly, knowledge is a lock and its key is the question.
Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-Albert Einstein
-Albert Einstein
Self-respect cannot be hunted. It cannot be purchased. It is never for sale. It cannot be fabricated out of public relations. It comes to us when we are alone, in quiet moments, in quiet places, when e suddenly realize that, knowing the good, we have done it; knowing the beautiful, we have served it; knowing the truth we have spoken it.
~Whitney Griswold
Be insane,crazy,aggressive...but in complete control...enjoy and have fun!
-PTIM0nK
Many humans judge n interpret things,surroundings,events,happenings,incidents,other humans just briefly by e surface...this create negative results like misunderstanding,wrongful judgement,unfairness,resentment n so on...quick temper always make a fool of oneself...do deeper thoughts my friends.
-PTIM0nK
Body transformation is my favourite hobby for life.
-PTIM0nK
What kind of questions u always ask urself conciously or sub-conciously and how often is very crucial to personal growth in everyways...it leads to ur destiny and everything that shall happen
-PTIM0nK
It is said that on average...for one to change his old habit takes 21days...i believe i can change mine with a snap of my fingers...its about being in complete control.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
There is nothing noble about being superior to some other person. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.
~Hindustani Proverb
When u have attained the mastery of absolute self belief...u will have no worries or fear of any other humans out there.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
“Temperamentally anxious people can have a hard time staying motivated, period, because their intense focus on their worries distracts them from their goals.”
― Winifred Gallagher
― Winifred Gallagher
The pro predict n prevent else change n improve while the noob wait for things to happen n chat abt it gossip abt it complain abt it. Be a pro my friends.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
People often mistaken me as hostile or label me as quiet person..i dont think ill go into detail on tt..but when i do speak my thoughts sincerely trying to help...ppl will feel angry if they misunderstand or uneasy uncomfortable..right from their face i know straight away i have bring them out of their comfort zone. But again i know its useless to help one who dun wan or do not know how to improve themselve on e inside..i hesitate to speak n decided to stay low.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
When any negative energy in any form moves towards me..either i absorb into my blackhole or i convert it into positive ones and reflect back.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
On beating around the bush: I suspect the level of misunderstanding in this world is quite high...humans just cannot convey their messages in a proper positive manner which results in difference in action n decisions made.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
A child can inherit certain characteristic frm his/her parents unknowingly for both the child n e parents;both bad n good ones, an example- attitude problems..however if one's will is strong enough..its never too late to change n there is no need for self-blame or external blame.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
On When e tiger doesnt show its power..those who r unwise will treat e tiger as a sick cat..u will never know when this "sick cat" will eat u up or become ur friend.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
Wadever e brain tells u will become true for oneself..as to achieve peace of mind, it has to convince itself eventually.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
It has since become a norm that the mindset of majority about life is to have as much fun as possible, play and enjoy as much while they still can, might be due to the uncertainty presented by media about the current world...resulting in more time spend in the development of entertainment sector due to its growing demand...humans become more selfish as they plunge into the virtual world narrowing their point of view on life and humanity...the leaders must make use of media once again to convey powerful messages to its people in order to convince them to think from a higher point of view...i always believe a change is never too late...time shall convince itself.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
Comparison between humans are harmful to a certain extent esp to the young...damaged done cannot be revert..and will drag on to the future if unrealise by each individual...to stop this is by gaining of knowledge,wisdom and self-awareness to prevent damage to e future generations.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
Many times when humans are caught off-guard...i understand that for small surprises are still ok..but for big scale happenings things will turn bad..and for the worst..things are already happening but e world might not be aware of it. Art of anticipation, prevention and prediction can be very crucial.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
Guys talk about cars, i talk about "cars" (legs) . Guys talk about footballs, i talk about balls (u know which balls) XD
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
It's so fun to catch one's spoken words which does not tally with the words spoken in one's mind. Be a mind reader my friends.
-PTIM0nK
Many think and interpret only with what they saw with their eyes. How and what they speak already reveal themselves, their identities to the wise men.
-PTIM0nK
The new gen human mind has become more complex as it is feed with new society n media which wired it to think more as they are presented with more ideas n choices. Many might have lost in their thoughts as they never learn how to simplify instead complicate.
-PTIM0nK
Be it self-motivation or external motivation, every human needs motivation daily as much as the need to drink water to revitalize and to feel good.
-PTIM0nK
On negative parenting n bad kids: its a natural action n reaction passed down from previous generations, more recent gen parents aren't equipped with sufficient parenting skills and knowledge. In addition with e influence of internet content easily accessable via phone or anywhere and with parents who failed to help themselves which results in a cycle of poor coaching and negative influence.
-PTIM0nK
Most people like to say 1st then do or never do, I prefer to do 1st then say or don't even need to say. People got eyes to see for themselves.
-PTIM0nK
I am tought to stay low profile since 5yrs old by my DAD..so i enjoy acting stupid and wear like a beggar.
No matter what is spoken by others contain any lies...on my end i will take in everything as true with absolutely no doubt. Be 100% sincere to others and be selfless...i dream of true peace.
-PTIM0nK
I dream of a group somewhere is planning a strong detailed world system where all rich in e world will be willing to put their money into this system to ensure that every single soul in every corner of e world will at least not die of hunger. For humanity my friends.
-PTIM0nK
Many coaches out there show e way to e $ n stop there. How many will continue to emphasize on e use of $ for kindness of humanity?
-PTIM0nK
I recalled saving cent by cent n finally exchanged a $50 note with my mom, few days later there was a class donation during primary sch n 1st thing tt come to my mind is to donate e $50. I remembered clearly my mom said $10 is enough n my teacher ask if i have asked my parents abt it n am sure to do so..i insisted anyway n donated $50. If anyone ask me today if i am to travel back in time any amount of times, i will always be sure to do the same in everything. The Art of No Regret.
-PTIM0nK
Denial is one of the most common defense mechanisms that we all use, pretending that an uncomfortable thing did not happen. I deactivate them all so as to absorb all pain in me to taste hell on earth for all forms of pain is nothing but a feeling drag over time. I have learnt to enjoy pain.
-PTIM0nK
"The attitude of other people affects each of us and the attitude of each of us has the capacity to affect all of us." -- Jim Rohn
Be it positive or negative attitude, be it one got it from parents or friends, ultimately it's up to oneself to pickup and "fine tune" your own provided u have the ability to change.
-PTIM0nK
Everything always end up with education and SELF-awareness and personal responsibilities. No matter who is involved...Those who are not alert,careless or unaware will result in problems/issues,it just cannot be help for everything is 2-way. There is no full-proof solution or preventive measures, that is the problem with human behavior. Some act and speak with wisdom, some just throw everything in their brain out so fast and hold no responsibilities of its external after-effect/consequences.
-PTIM0nK
Human Communication without speaking at all is at its highest level via eye contact. 1-way Human reading via: body language reading, facial expression reading, looks reading, action/reaction reading, situational reading, result reading, appearance reading and all these combinations.
-PTIM0nK
"The Supreme goal is to use the daily activity to become a master of life, grasping thus the art of living. The masters in all branches of art must be first living masters, why is the soul to create all things. "
-Bruce Lee
For Naruto Fans! -“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. Now you put your soul into Naruto, you become Naruto. You pour yourself into Sasuke; you become Sasuke . You put oneself into Kakashi; you become Kakashi. Now water can flow, or creep or drip or crash! Choose your IDENTITY wisely, my friend"
-PTIM0nK
In fact complaint is good for healing the soul of individual and in the form of feedback to others, however the best situation is to complain and then provide feasible solutions. Human beings ought to communicate openly, come out with a consensus and take action selflessly to gradually improve the overall health of humankind and the world as one.
-PTIM0nK
-PTIM0nK
In fact complaint is good for healing the soul of individual and in the form of feedback to others, however the best situation is to complain and then provide feasible solutions. Human beings ought to communicate openly, come out with a consensus and take action selflessly to gradually improve the overall health of humankind and the world as one.
-PTIM0nK
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