1. Dreams of Destiny
-Raise your standards
-Change ur limiting beliefs
- change your strategy
5 mastery in life;
1.Emotional mastery; virtually everything we do is to change e way we feel
2.Physical mastery; look & feel good & know tt u r in control of ur life
3. Relationship mastery; sense of contribution, knowing we have made a difference in others lives
mastering it , gives u unlimited resources for growing & contributing
4. Financial mastering; key is not e mere pursuit of wealth, but changing ur beliefs & attitudes about it so u see it as a means for contribution
5. Time mastery; repetition is e mother of skill
2. Decisions: the pathway to power
-how am i going to live e next 10 yrs of my life? how am i going to live today in order to create e tomorrow im committed to? what am i going to stand for from now on?
- different action produce different results
-if you dont set a baseline standard for what you will accept in life, u will find its easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that is far below what u deserve
-if you truly decide to, u can do almost anything
-ur life changes e moment u make a new, congruent and committed decision
-what's important is to decide u will find a way, no matter what
-making a true decision means committing to achieving a result, and then cutting urself off from any other possibility
-the way to make better decisions is to make more of them
-information is power when its acted upon
3 decisions tt control ur destiny are;
-ur decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to u and what to do to create e results u desire
subconscious mind (system)
1. ur core beliefs n unconscious rules
2. ur life values
3. ur references
4. habitual questions tt u ask urself
5. emotional states
remember: success truly is e result of good judgement . it is e result of experience, and exp is often e result of bad judgement!
-we will either find a way or make one
-nothing u cant accomplish if;
1. u clearly decide wad is it tt u r absolutely committed to achieving
2. u r willing to take massive action
3. u notice what is working or not
4. u continue to change ur approach until u achieve wad u want, using wadever life gives u along e way
-in order to succeed, u must have a long-term focus
-"niagara syndrome" - e result of short-term thinking
6 keys to harness e power of decision;
1. remember e true power of making decisions
-if there is no action, u have not truly decided
2. realize tt e hardest step in achieving anything is making a true commitment- a true decision
-never to leave e scene of a decision without 1st taking a specific action towards its realization
3. make decisions often - decision-making muscles get stronger with use
4. learn from your decisions
5. stay committed to ur decision, but stay flexible in ur approach
6. enjoy making decisions
"life is either a daring adventure or nothing"
3. The force that shapes your life
- need to avoid pain or our desire to gain pleasure
-if we link massive pain to any behavior or emotional pattern, we will avoid indulging in it at all costs, we can use this understanding to harness e force of pain n pleasure to change virtually anything in our lives
-if we fail to direct our own associations to pain n pleasure, we r living no better than animals or machines
- what u link pain n pleasure to will shape ur destiny
-anything unique tt occurs consistently will become neurologically linked
-simply by linking pain to e behaviors we want to stop at such a high level of emotional intensity tt we wont even consider those behaviors any longer. then , simply link pleasure to e new behavior u desire for urself
4. Belief systems: The power to create and the power to destroy
-its not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events means.
-events(neutral) + reaction (own) = outcome of result
- once accepted, our beliefs become unquestioned commands to our nervous systems and they have e power to expand or destroy e possibilities of our present and future
- belief is a "feeling of certainty" about something
- with enough emotional intensity & repetition, our nervous systems exp something as real, even if it has not occurred yet
- certainty carries power!
- if u question anything enough, eventually u will begin to doubt it
Beliefs 3 categories: opinions , beliefs and convictions
-Opinions ; little reference, easy to change
-Beliefs: many references with strong emotion, absolute sense of certainty thus close off to new input
-Conviction; certain + anger if being questioned , obsession totally resist to new input
How to create a conviction?
1. Start with e basic belief
2. add new/powerful references
3. find a triggering event , or create on of ur own " what will it cost me if i dont?"
4. take action
-pain is e ultimate tool for shifting a belief
-the way to expand our lives is to model e lives of those people who are already succeeding
-the only true security in life comes from knowing that every single day u are improving urself in some way; " i dont worry about maintaining e quality of my life, because every day i work on improving it"
- nothing in life has any meaning except e meaning u give it
- leadership and e power of belief; society may predict, but only i will determine my destiny!
5. Can change happen in an instant?
- once we effect a change, we should reinforce it immediately, then we have to condition our nervous systems to succeed not just once, but consistently
creating long-term change:
1. we must believe, " something MUST change"
2. we must not only believe tt things must change but we must believe " i must change it"
3. we have to believe " i can change it"
-nothing changes until we change e sensations we link to an exp in our nervous system
-each time we exp a significant amount of pain/pleasure , our brains search for e cause and record it in our nervous systems to enable us to make better decisions about what to do in the future
-source of self-sabotage->mixed neuro-associations, example : more number of pain than pleasure
6. How to change anything in ur life: the science of neuro-associative conditioning
1. Decide what u really want and whats preventing u from having it now
2. get leverage: associate massive pain to not changing Now and massive pleasure to e exp of changing now!
3. interrupt e limiting pattern ( new results-> need new ways)
4. create a new, empowering alternative
5. condition e new pattern until its consistent
6. test it!
Law of reinforcement; responding to a behavior immediately after it occurs, while punishment and reward may occur long afterward
The ecology check ( study of consequences )
1. make certain pain is fully associated with e old pattern
2. make certain pleasure is fully associated with e new pattern
3. align with ur values, beliefs, and rules
4. make sure e benefits of e old pattern have been maintained
5. future pace- imagine urself behaving in this new way in e future
7. How to get what you really want
- ur behavior is not the result of ur ability, but of e state tt u r in at this moment
- physiology : e power of movement
emotion is created by motion -create key movements
-focus: e power of concentration
-whatever we focus on becomes our idea of reality
-"ask and you will receive, seek & you will find ; knock , and it will be opened to you"
-our ability to change e way we feel depends upon our ability to change our sub-modalities; visual/auditory/kinesthetic
-all tt u really want in life is to change how u feel
8. Questions are the answer
- successful people asked better questions, and as a result , they got better answers
-quality questions create a quality life
-" some men see things as they are, and say " why? i dream of things tt never were, and say "why not?"
How Questions work;
1. qns immediately change what we r focusing on and therefore how we feel
2. qns changes what we delete
3. qns change the resources available to us
Problem- solving qns;
1. what is great about this problem?
2. what is not perfect yet?
3. what am i willing to do to make it the way i want it?
4. what am i willing to no longer do in order to make it the way i want it?
5. how am i enjoy the process while i do what is necessary to make it the way i want it?
Morning power qns;
1. what am i happy about in my life now?
2. what am i excited about in my life now?
3. what am i proud about in my life now?
4. what am i grateful about in my life now?
5. what am i enjoying most in my life now?
6. what am i committed to in my life now?
7. who do i love? who loves me?
Evening power qns;
1. what have i given today?
2. what did i learn today?
3. how has today added to the quality of my life or how can i use today as an investment in my future?
A question of destiny;
-at some point, u have got to stop evaluating and start doing!
9. The vocabulary of ultimate success
-the words that we attach to our exp become our exp
- if we want to change our lives and shape our destiny, we need to consciously select e words we are going to use and we need to constantly strive to expand our level of choice
- its important to realize tt words shape our beliefs and impact our actions
-is it possible tt by adopting someone else's habitual vocabulary, u began to adopt their emotional patterns as well?
-if u dont have a way of representing something. u cant exp it
-the words we use as a corporate culture and as individuals have a profound effect on our exp of reality
Example of change of Old, dis-empowering word to use of New, Empowering Word;
- dont know -> i will find out
-anger -> forgive
-okay -> brilliant /fabulous/awesome/ spectacular
- confident -> unstoppable
-interesting -> captivating
-no problem -> happy to
-worried -> a little bit concerned
-words can produce illness; words can kill
-be precise in words - be aware dis-empowering words can limit experience; softening intensity break in-resourceful pattern
10. Destroy the blocks, break down the wall, let go of the rope, and dance your way to success: The power of life metaphors
- Global metaphors; it will affect ur decisions ; shape ur actions ; ur destiny
- we must take charge of our metaphors, not just to avoid e problem metaphors, but so tt we can adopt e empowering metaphors as well.
-"wall obstacle" -> to fly over the wall , breaking thru e wall
- a whole set of rules, ideas and preconceived notions accompany any metaphor you adopt
-changing one global metaphor can instantly transform e way you look at your entire life
1. what is life? write down e metaphors u have already chosen: " life is like..."
2. make a list of all e metaphors tt u link to relationships or marriage
3. pick another area of ur life tt impacts u most and discover ur metaphors for this area
4. create new , more empowering metaphors
5. finally, decide that u are going to live with these new , empowering metaphors for e next thirty days
Example;
life is a game; every match is an exp to learn and improve; breaking thru personal records again and again ; facing great challenges= opportunities to break thru new heights ; winning means adding more references to self-confidence ; losing means having to ask "why" = more rooms for improvement to get closer to perfection ; " i have to be the best that i can be, i live my entire life with no regrets, i have enjoyed a game of wonderful experiences"
11. The 10 emotions of POWER
4 basic ways ppl deal with emotion.
1. Avoidance - ultimately u cant avoid feeling
2. Denial - if e message ur emotions are trying to deliver is ignored, e emotions simply increase their amperage; they intensify until u finally pay attention
3. competition - pride themselves on being worse off than anyone else
4. learning and using
- the emotions aka action signals u once thot of as negative are merely a call to action
- u r the source of all ur emotions; u r the one who creates them ; u can feel any way u choose at any moment in time
-u dont need any special reason to feel good - u can just decide to feel good right now, simple because u r alive, simply because u want to
6 steps to emotional master ; kill the monster while its little
1. identify what u r really feeling
2. acknowledge and appreciate ur emotions, knowing they support u ;cultivate e feeling of appreciation for all emotions
3. get curious about the message this emotion is offering u ; getting curious helps u master ur emotion, solve e challenge, and prevent e same problem from occurring in e future
4. get confident
5. get certain u can handle this not only today, but in the future as well
6. get excited, and take action
10 Action Signals;
1.
Discomfort : boredom, impatience, unease, distress, or mild embarrassment
Solution:
1. use skills learned to change ur state;
2. clarify what do you wantl
3. refine your actions
2.
Fear : low- concern n apprehension
high- intense worry, anxiety , fright and even terror
Fear is simply the anticipation that something thats going to happen soon needs to be prepared for
Solution: review what u were feeling fearful about and evaluate what you must do to prepare urself mentally. figure out what actions you need to take to deal with e situation in e best possible way
Antidote for fear: u must make a decision to have faith
3.
Hurt : Feelings of hurt are usually generated by a sense of loss - we have an expectation that has not been met
Solution:
1. realize tt in reality u may not have lost anything. maybe what u need to lose is e false perception
2. ask urself, " is there really loss here? or am i judging this situation too soon, or too harshly?"
3. elegantly and appropriately communicating ur feeling of loss to e person involved
4.
Anger- important rule/standard tt i hold for my life has been violated by someone else, or maybe even by you
Solution:
1. treat them like they dont know whats most important to u
2. make urself realise tt ur rules are not necessarily the "right" rules
3. ask urself a more empowering questions
-change ur perception/procedure/behavior
5.
Frustration - exciting signal ; means ur brain believes u could be doing better than u currently are = signal to be more flexible!
Solutions:
1. Brainstorms new ways to get result
2. find role model
3. get fascinated by what u learn tt could help u handle this challenge not only today, but in the future, in a way tt consumes very little time/energy and actually creates joy
6.
Disappointment - feeling of being " let down"
Solutions:
1. Immediately figure out something u can learn from this situation tt could help u in the future to achieve the very thing u were after in the 1st place
2. set new goal tt can immediate progress forward
3. realise tt u may be judging too soon
4. realise tt a situation isnt over yet, and develop more patience
completely reevaluate what u truly want and begin to develop an even more effective plan for achieving it
5. cultivating an attitude of positive expectancy about what will happen in the future, regardless of what has occurred in the past
7.
Guilt - violated one of ur own highest standards
Solutions:
1. acknowledge
2. absolutely commit urself to ensure it wont happen again
8.
Inadequacy - tells u , u need more info, understanding strategies , tools or confidence
Solutions:
1. " is this really an appropriate emotion for me to feel in this situation? am i really inadequate, or do i have to change the way im perceiving things?"
2. appreciate e encouragement to improve
3. find a rolemodel , get some coaching from them
9.
overload or overwhelm - deal with too many things at once
Solutions:
1. what in life to focus on
2. prioritize and write down whats most important for u to accomplish
3. tackle e 1st thing on ur list, and continue to take action until u have mastered it
4. focus on what u can control and dealing with it a step at a time
10.
Loneliness - need connection with people
Solutions:
1. realise tt u can reach out and make a connection immediately and end the loneliness. there are caring ppl everywhere
2. identify what kind of connection u do need
3. remind urself " i really care about people and i love to be with them
i need to find out what kind of connection i need with somebody right now and then take an action immediately to make tt happen
4. then take immediate action to reach our and connect with someone
10 emotions of power
1. love and warmth
2. appreciation and gratitude
3. curiosity - if u want to cure boredom, be curious, if u r curious , nothing is a chore
4. excitement and passion - passion is unbridled power to move our lives forward at a faster tempo than ever before
5. determination - struck with the lightning power of commitment
6. flexibility
7. confidence
8. cheerfulness
9. vitality
10. contribution
- every feeling tt u have - good or bad - is based on ur interpretation of what things mean
12. The magnificent obsession - creating a compelling future " nothing happens unless first a dream"
-We all must discover or create a magnificent obsession
- all goal setting must be immediately followed by both the development of a plan, massive n consistent action toward its fulfillment
-its not just getting a goal tt matters, but e quality of life u exp along e way
-e direction we r heading is more important than individual results
Power of e reticular activating system (RAS)
-Shift in mental posture aligns u more precisely with ur goals, once u decide tt something is a priority, u give it tremendous emotional intensity, and by continually focusing on it, any resource tt supports its attainment will eventually be clear
- trust ur RAS will point out what u need to know along e way
- a compelling future is the food on which our souls thrive
13. The 10 day mental challenge
- for the next 10 days, begin immediately commit to taking full control of all ur mental and emotional faculties by deciding right now tt you will not indulge in or dwell on any unresourceful thought/emotions for 10 consecutive days
- u will be demanding empowering emotions, enriching thoughts, inspiring questions
-spend more time on solutions instead of problems
15. Life values: your personal compass
Moving-toward values; sorting from most important ones to least important -freedom,success,adventure,health,passion,comfort,security,intimacy,love,power
-how u prioritize ur values shall affect your direction in life
-be more concerned with ur charecter than ur reputation, because ur character is what you really are, while ur reputation is merely what others think you are
16. Rules: If you 're not happy, here's why!
-The truth is tt nothing has to happen in order for u to feel good
-as long as we structure our lives in a way where our happiness is dependent upon something we cannot control, then we will experience pain
-whether or not u feel like u r achieving ur values is totally dependent upon ur rules
- most of us have created numerous ways to feel bad and only a few ways to truly feel good
